Morning. I have decided to go back to church just for the sake of the kids. They need it, as I did as a child, and I can take what I want and leave what I don’t agree on. I always can get something out of it. I feel that my emotions, and feelings, have clarity now and more confidence. I am sure my business is helping me with that. I am also taking this Aztec grain called Milla and frankly I am feeling really balanced. Everyone keeps telling my skin is glowing. I do feel as if I have been away from my kids too much. I need to have a lot of alone time with them. It is mostly for work now as I am growing out of my teens and the need to party late in the night. Finally two years. ha ha. Now I want to write about things but there is a problem with the fact that sometimes the stories I want to write about, may be reading my blog. I only want t write from my life lesson, observation and perspective.
Yesterday my friend Rhonda from the magazine last minute invited me over to their house for a luncheon where there way a wine connoisseur, a chef, as well as an interesting group of intellectual people. The food and company was delicious. I told the ladies, “They know how to live.” I could get use to this.
Then I met my brother for a late lunch at Jakes. It was amazing. WE had a great time, I am going to miss him a lot. UH OH Gotta run to church.

I am laggin this morning. actually not lagging cuz I am being productive from my bed in the my babydoll, ha, but have not gotten t the gym yet. Kaylee is sitting with me, we are eating breakfast and watching guess?? Big suprise Disney. I love this time with my kids-in between typing we chat, kiss cuddle and tell eachother we love one another. Kaylee is in a much better mood since she got sleep last night. It is impossible to deal with a child when they are overtired and I am or vica versa. I am feeling super creative lately. I keep dreaming about ideas. I am going to start my book today, and do some other things to fill my soul up-like read interesting books/mags etc. Jac has soccer but I think or hope it is rained out> ha ha. I don’t like the rain or cold unless I am cozy at home or by someone’s fireplace. William had Conner sleep over and they are making so much noise downstairs. One of the downfalls of a smaller house. My maid is here and helping me organize my kitchen and home, which has been bugging me. I fell in love with two paintings at the coffee shop that say,”All you need is love, and then below,”Love is all you need.” I was destined to have them. That is what it is all about. Forgive me if I blogged about this with my Mommy memory or lack of. I imagine it is only going to happen more as I get older. Damn I should have used non acrylic paint on their hair for crazy hair day, that was a nightmare to get out, but we did. Another one of my famous or stupid last minute solving the situation the Amy way, or lazy way.
I did not get to see my brother last night so we are having a late lunch today early dinner. I have work to do, errands to run, and the gym to go to. My body is sore but feels good to know it is changing and working hard. Last night Michelle and I went to an old local Italian restaurant. We were cracking up. It was like the twilight zone. First this drunk part owner bought us a very expensive, delicious bottle of wine. Then he kept doing magic tricks for us that made no sense whatsoever. There was a strange lady next to us, who kept on staring at us, pointing and talking about us. She walked by me to go to the bathroom and I smiled, then she ignored me, and asked my friend if I was a lesbian. Ha ha. Then the very funny but entertaining piano player came to play. He was singing and staring away at us. THis elderly lady joined him to sing Boccelie. Afterwards I went up to her to give her some love and tell her how great her voice was. I said,’Did you use to be an opera singer?” Well I don’t think she liked that comment because she said,”I still am!” Darn it, I hate when I am trying to be so nice and I don’t phrase something right ..uggghhhhhhh. It gets me in trouble. Thanks Dad for passing that lovely gene on to me.

I am being so bad at bloggin………I am so sorry …………. I am busy visiting all my friends that I have not been giving attention to lately. My father is doing okay. I bought him a snuggly. I never thought I would buy one of those for anyone but my Dad gets cold all of the time. I want to keep him cozy always. I miss my two aunts who died. They were such good souls that I feel their presence as a guardian angels. I am feeling much more stable this week. Last week was a tough week. I also have a lot of things to be excited about or look forward to. I also feel that I have been a good present Mother lately which is so important to me. Last week I went to church with the kids because William wanted me to so badly, and the message is “It is never too late.” I feel bad for some of my times not being in moment with my kids with all my drama occuring over the past few years…..so I am taking what he said t heart and I keep repeating that to myself daily.Happiest time is savoring the moment and the little things. Man I sound like a Hallmark card. That would actually be a good job for me with all my sentimentality. I love all the mushy songs about the fragility of life. My therapist say’s I am afraid of dying and missing out on something In life, so I want to experience every minute and everything. I guess not bad if I have down time, clear thoughts and balance. Enough about me. Ha ha. seriously I was watching a comedian at a dinner party and he was showing how some people always have to top others stories….and it was a bit of a frightening mirror for me. I guess that it is good to be aware but I get on stage fast…….prob. to fast.
So quick week rundown. Kaylee and I have been having a lot of talks about her body as a temple and respectig it, ie; not dancing like Britney Spears. She has had attitude lately and I don’t like it. I told her she needs a attitude adjustment. Ha. She told me she is crushin on William’s friend a bit. Oh dear….once again that damn apple falling close to the tree in m family. Jac got picked for A team soccer out of forty kids, he is so happy. Today was crazy hair day for my kids and I was so proud to paint their hair and put it all up in ponytails. I could tell the kids were excited. William told me he understands three things to never say to a woman one-critisize her style, two-say she looks older, or three-notice she has gained weight…..ha ha. He is smart.
Getting in to getting in to bettershape and loving it.Time t lose my poochy. Getting a lot of comments that feels good. Getting freebees which is always nice. So I will blog again tomorrow. Having dinner with my brother who is leaving town. I love ou Peter and will miss u. Night Chippie!!

I am sorry that I have not blogged but you know me and computers and techology do not get along…………….much to my dismay. ha. not really…except i can’t write my thoughts when they want to get out. Tonight I am tired and with my kids which is going to keep it brief so that turns me to my funniest child…………Kayleee. I believe I told you about her and the teacher getting prettier as she knows her, and then her saying that mean girls at school get less pretty but then yesterday she told me she helped a friend with her friend at school with her anger management issues. I said<”Did the teacher help you.” She said,”no, I just told her that life is short, be nice and kind because u will get further with that than anything.”           how fricken cute………….not sure whether to take credit in that or give it To Disney…….but will take in anyways. So to you and all you critical moms that try and do things perfect and raise kids as stepford kids…………love them, let them Be. ha………….and aid their strengths………….Its all about love for yourself and love for others…………………oh by the way Jac made the A team at soccer and he was their favorite out of all contestants………………so happy for him and his Coach, Daddy…………….My little sweet loving easy going baby……..xo

I was having a hard time finding log in information for my blog. That always frustrates me because it creates a sense of urgency in me to not forget the special moments or comments that my kids have said, and I want to remember.Not only that……..u r not going to believe this one, my Dad’s other sister Aunt Haussie who lived with Aunt Shirley, died two days later. She was heart broken on the news. How sad but sweet. It has been one crazy week. This all just makes me want to love on my father much more often. I was worried about my father but now, I realize that my mother is his life, and as long as he has her, he is happy. That is really sweet.
So since I promised Wills I would go to church this morning, and frankly I need it, I only have limited time. Today we are doing family day, ad tonight the adults are going out to Roppongi for dinner. My nephew josh is in town as well as my nephew Jordan. I keep having the urge to go and buy a puppy, but then I stop myself and remember I need to be more in the moment with my kids and get better at keeping up with the millions, no trillions of school activitities and events. I always tell my friends with one or two kids, that they have no idea how difficult it is to have three kids in school, and keep up with the homework, activities etc. Everyday is something special. The other day I dropped Kaylee off, and there was something going on at aschool. I nearly had a panic attack because I thought I missed something for her but luckily it was not. Infact I have only missed one thing and it was minor one, but Kaylee always talks about it.
Anyways update on kids………William is continuing to be very sweet, loving and good. it is a sheer, utter miracle but I will take it…Thank you God or JEsus for that matter. He is really maturing in everyway. He reminds me a lot of my sister’s son Adriane, who has grown in to a fine young man.
Jac is soccer mad. Yesterday he played Goalie and he was not as much the star as he usually is. I was sitting with him back at net, and everytime he let a goal in, I would comfort him. He is a little guy and that goal is huge. I was having lunch with my highschool friend Rhonda and we were having such a great time, reminiscing that I thought about missing Jac’s game. I was so happy that I decided against it, and need to remember that those decisions I make, impact me, and my family daily. Try and do the right thing……like Jesus, and Melanie Ham, oh and Charlene, Jean, Maica etc.
Kaylee has said so many funny cute things this week, that I don’t know where to begin. The funniest one was after school one day when she said,’She is tired of holding in all the bad words she has to at school all day like hate, poo, fart etc. She said she feels like she is going to explode sometimes and wanted to know if she could just let a few out in the car. I said,”Sure.” I just loved the originality of that comment. She then was telling me how much she loves her teacher and she gets more beautiful to her everyday. I was explaining to her that people either become more beautiful as they get to know them, then she said,”Well it also works to the opposite.” She told me this little pretty girl in her class, gets less prett daily because she gets on her last nerve. ” Ha ha

I am feeling confused and frustrated due to the absence of my facebook account. I am not sure where it is, how it is gone or who disabled it? It is definitely creating some crazy thoughts in my head as to who, where and why? As you can probably imagine.
I am very sad today because we learned that my Daddy’s sister, Aunt Shirley died. She was the sweetest most loving person and very close to our family especially my family back east. I feel so bad for my father and their remaining sister Aunt Hossie. I feel sick to my stomach and sad that I did not get to say goodbye. My brother Peter said he spoke with her yesterday which is unusual for him, so that makes me feel good. My niece Katie has been so close to Aunt shirley, she was like another mother/grandmother. I feel helpless, and not sure what to do to make everyone feel better. I know she is in heaven, and looking down upon us. She is a saint, or close to and now we all have an investigative Guardian angel up there. Besides she is now with Uncle Max. It is funny how things hit us differently. At first I was not so terribly sad because I thought about how much she has been suffering and hating old age but now, I am feeling the loss for myself and everyone else who knew her……Goodbye Aunt Shirley……………………we will miss you. xoxo Daddy please hold on much longer. No more to be written about today.

GOod news, I thought I deleted my entry but I published it although I was not finished………..So far today Kaylee has asked if she can have a coconut bday party and a cotton candy bday party. All day this goes on and all I say,’Sure,” cuz I know she will change her mind for the next six months. Kaylee now has a little cold. They have been going around our household, or it. She just told me she likes to be at her bff’s house when she is sick cuz her bff takes such good care of her. I am the type that when their heart hurts or they are really sick, I am there but tiny little boo boo’s or coughs, not so much. I must have gotten no sympathy when I was little in that area. Ofcourse my heart was always in turmoil in some way or another. My heart rules my mind, and I am trying to alternate that for my kids sake. So what else is new, I have probably written that five thousand times in my blog history.
Today Jac’s first soccer game is and he is sooooooooo excited. He is so obsessed. He had a school presentation yesterday and it was so flippin cute. He was so happy because we were both there, and Neil usually works. He had a permanent smile on his face the entire time, and barely sang. He had a speaking part as well. All I know is while I was watching him, I ha so much love flooding out of my heart and was picturing him when I gave birth to him. It was so cute and endearing. I again thought it should be showed around at all the old folks homes to cheer them up. I feel that I have been somewhat distracted with my kids and I need to not be so, it feels empty. Going to yoga now, seeing results in my workout and getting motivated, then to lunch with Dyane and Marina, Jac’s game and then Ashleigh’s bday tonight and some other event.
Had some unusual experiences this past week but once I got passed the clouds, and feelings, and stood up for myself (exersizing that muscle) felt it, got through it, and woke up a bit stronger……….hurray!

Rainy days are so nice. I think they should be like snow days back east and kids get them off. Atleast that is what I think the first part of the day when keeping them home. ha ha. No today there were storm watches, tornadoe watches etc. thunder and lightening, and I was scared. So when I am scared I just want to be lazy, and hide out with my kids in a safe place. So I am laying in bed working on business. I have a nervous energy today. LIke I had to much caffeine, or I am in trouble for something. Not sure where it is coming from but I don’t really welcome it. Yoga yoga yoga. That is what I need but I am too anxious. Yesterday I went back to the doctor because my lower back was aching. I am so afraid of getting that kidney infection again that I have been going back to the doctors a little bit more than normal. My mother reminded me of that. I even found a nice little clinic, I love that resembles my old La JOlla medical clinic. So far, I am healthy still. I hope and pray things stay that way.
So what else is new? I got a new tire free cuz i cute. ha ha. Maybe but whatever the reason is that I run in to curbs, i love how they help me out. I bought the guys all Einstein bagels. They were happy and it felt nice to do despite the hailing rain. I was driving around asking everyone to run to my car including the bagel guy. Thank God for nice people and my little girl voice-sometimes. That is where I am guilty of being spoiled.
I almost forgot the most important thing of the day-toay is our father’s, not God, but close, Joe Lasensky’s eighty fourth bday. We are celebrating it tomorrow night with the family. Kaylee wants to make a cake desperately. In fact she got wind that her birthday is the next one in the family coming up, although six months away and that is her biggest topic of conversation daily. It is really cute when you can step back and appreciate it but sometimes it gets taxing going over how many different things she is going to have, change, not have and do for it. We have changed cakes, food, colors, theme, and how many princesses and which princesses about eight times. Lately she is also in to drawing pictures of me, and asking me per detail what I want ie;lipstick color). She is constantly drawing little fashionist pictures that are so cute. She is destine for clothing design. HOPefully she will have the heart or thick skin for it. Not like Moi.

I forgot to pay my cable bill again. Damn six weeks goes by fast. I think Neil smirks at this. I set almost all of them up on autopay but that one. I hate paying bills and I can’t believe how expensive everything is. It feels much better to buy a pair of boots I can wear daily and get the high from.
I want my kids to make a nice card for my father. I was brainstorming what to make or give him. I already ordered him a Snuggie for xmas………so can’t wait to give that to him. He is one person who will truly love it. I may do one of my poems or mushy things but he will just wave his hand and say “ahhh.’ He gets uncomfortable with too much emotion now.
I am going to sit down with my kids and bring my distracted mind in the moment…………ask them questions respond and listen. I hate when I feel distracted. The only problem is when I want to go have quality time they often have Disney on and can’t be bothered with me, and ignore me. Oh well it is worth a shot.!

Another rainy day and Kaylee and I have not left the bed. Except to go get some soup and have a picnic in bed. We are watching,’The Princess Protection Program.” Kaylee keeps making the sassiest comments to the tv. Funny girl. Today’s funny quote from her majesty was.’ She does not like when she splits a wishbone, and loses, so then she goes and finds the other persons half and breaks it.” HA ha. She is figuring out what she wants to do and should do. SHe has made a lot of comments about things like this. I try and validate her.
Jac has one other thing he is noticing besides soccer. He told me that he noticed at the meeting the other day that a lot of the moms had low cut tops on. I said,’like mine, or I wear?” He said,’No yours is fine.” Ha ofcourse he was just saying that but it was nice.
William is being a gem still, I am sort of freakin out. I saved his message on the message machine last night where he was so kind and respectful. His voice sounded so cute. I was thinking about all of the trials, and habits wills had to overcome and how hard they were each time, but he did it. Yea.

As I said I need to get Kaylee her own blog. So today we are hanging out on this rainy day, and she is just throwing funny comments out left and right. We were just listening to Pink and she said,”Pink just said a bad word, that she say’s she is mean when she doesn’t want to be. Then she asked me if she can buy her teacher earrings. I said, yes ofcourse, and she said,”I want to buy Ms. Wilhelm real diamonds.” “Why not you have them.” ha ha. Last night she said her foot had a blister and now went from a five to a thirteen. She keeps on telling me such interesting facts about life ie;rome and spain has the highest cigarette consumption-then she told me all about martin luther, and how his mom got arrested because she wanted to sit with her son. I am amazed by her wit and by her intelligence daily. She was asking me all about how babies come and where they come from, and all sorts of questions when we took a bath together. As I am sure you can imagine. I was remembering funny comments wills said to me when he was little. I would write them down but then I will get in trouble for being to open. I love the honesty and innocence of kids.
There were some more but went on vaca for the time being, vaca in my mind. I keep thinking of funny names for a book for me. I like,” I feel a sin coming on.” Or LOst in confusion,,,,,,,,,,,,and many more. I like to make fun of myself. I like that song’A hot mess.” I am not a hot mess but a funny mess, getting better. Yesterday Dyane and Chris had a Charger party. It was really fun. I actually watched the game for a bit and started to get in to. I had a blast as usual. I like going to day parties and then going home early. I was in bed by nine, and slept so good. I laughed so hard with my friends stacy and Dyane. I know I say this all of the time but I fricken am so happy I have friends that I can laugh with daily. It is a gift to share a sense of humor with. I feel grateful everyday. I actually am still busy but feeling pretty happy lately in general. Excited and scared about business but all horoscopes point to good success. William is being so nice, the kids are happy, Neil is doing well and lookin good, and my parents are healthy. I also am so happy my brother is in town. I love him so much. We are healthy, and safe for now. I feel terrible for the victims in Haiti and want to collect for them. Thank God we are not in their situation. I am having a lot of GEm moments and living in the moment and feeling the love. MY workouts are going well. Paul is a great trainer and I am getting to know him well. He is like a phsychologist/trainer. He gives good advice. Yesterday I got some compliments on my higher bootie. Ha ha. Much more to go. Atleast this week no parties.
William has also been so sweet to Kaylee, and she lays on his lap to nap, and he rubs her hair. She and William are doing teamwork right now, and making a snowflake. She also was playing with her teaset and filling it up and said,”This is going to take years, and I don’t have years to wait.”
So now funny Amyisms today……………Last night I hit a curb and blew out my tire. If it is not one thing it is another. with my driving. I went to the car place and ofcourse everyone knows me there. I think they think I am nuts. ha ha. Anyways when I giggled and confessed I hit a curb the nice service guy said,’You mean a pothole.’ Oh I said” a pothole.” I was so happy cuz potholes are covered and not curbs. Kindness luv it. More good days than bad, that is the goal.
Gotta focus on movie with my kids………….It is a cold, rainy day and we are happy to be in staying warm. Kaylee and I just got out of the hot bubble bath. Loving my book called,’The shack,” Try it out….
OKay more silly Amy stories.