oh my,,,,,,,,,,tired again

by Amy Cubbison on April 27th, 2009

I should not be calling this a daily blog, these days atleast. I am going to try and do it atlest three times  times a week. The problem is i am trying to heed advice on the fact that my blog entries are so long, they are like  the torah.  so much happens when I wait up to write. It builds up in my memory zone and infiltrates it. I  then remember as much as I like feedback from others about my blog, is it mainly serves a purpose for myself and hopefully my children one day. I feel sort of bad tonight because I had every inention to spend some quality time with my kids. I was being sort of ocd about it because I did not feel that I did much of that yesterday. That darn quality time that is always knawing at my conscious, and probably every other moms conscious. I also like every other mom analyze my actions so often to make sure they are not selfish. I love my Mother dearly but she admitted to being selfish and I am so afraid of being to selfish. Oh well that is a discussion for another time. The problem is to figure out what is reality and what is twisted, neuvo phsychology that makes one either think to much about their behavior or let themselves off the hook to easy. At any rate i hit a wall, after telling everyone to do their homework and take baths so we could read, and spend time playing games, and watching a movie. William waits until about eight to start his homework and by that time, I am so impatient with him.

I keep hearing these horrid stories about my friends teenage girls. it is unbelievable. They all want to be in street gangs and live in the “hoods.” They are in love with Little Wayne, who is someone I would have a nightmare about. Not that he is black that is not the problem, the problem is they are gloryfying the rough and tough, drug infessed streets in the hood, where gangs form. My friend said to her daughter ,”well there is no couture in the hood, so leave your True Religions here.” I loved that comeback. Then my mind started thinking what a funny reality show that would make-accept reality is not reality and all about ratings and money so they would tweak it. Kaylee was saying these sayings tonight like,”not even, and”aw man>”  I asked her about her comments and she said,’That is just her spunky personality and that she was always dying to talk and be herself when she was a baby and could not talk, and now she can, so she is going to express herself however she feels’….She and I have had some good conversations about jealousy but once again, I am wondering why my kids seem so much more precocious, observant and talkatve for their ages than most kids their age. Not sure if it a over compensation from an area where I was deficient in or just good gene combining, not to mention   a lot o love. I am sounding like I am thinking and talking in pig latin so it is time to say good night and pay attention to my drooping eyelids. Bon Nuit!

From my-life

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