yesterday…………love was such an easy game to play

by Amy Cubbison on May 5th, 2009

Yesterday love was an easy game to play? Not for me. I never got the game, tried the game, or played the game. I can only by me and not to mysterious but popular? Does that help? Ha ha.
I just wrote some great stuff and then my computer blacked out. i can’t stand when that happens but I need to remember to let that go as well as let so many trivial things go in a day and remember the inn basket will never be empty. I use to have that mentality a bit and it drove me nuts. It was a bit ocd. I am feeling a bit of that lately where I am saying or going over something in my head several times for example ie;I need to spend quality time with my children. I wonder why that is coming up for some obvious reasons but I don’t like it. I remember also feeling very overwhelmed and over stimulated as a child, and always wanting to be a place where I was not. It is sort of like Wills with the feeling he gets when he has two friends who want to play with him on one day. It is a Bad problem to him. I am trying to help him with his Negative thinking and cognitive thinking to change it to the glass half full. It is not easy especially since it is sort of in his blood. The trick is to not shame him or make as if he is not good enough but to help him get more joy in life and less struggles. That boy is so smart and gifted and it is amazing what comes out of his head, mouth , body and mind in one day. I think the meds r helping a bit but very early in program. Wills has been playing with Kaylee a lot and carrying her on his shoulders. Jac and Kaylee always get along like a house on fire.
Neil sprained his ankle while at rugby tournament. Kaylee called him, and said she was going to google it. I said,YOU can’t read, and she said,”Quit Mommy, I am using my imaginiation. She is so flipping precocious. THese days I a the happiest or the most content when I am just spending quality time with my kids-all or one. It is tough sometimes to get to that spot mentally or physically but so worth it.
My mothers’ knee surgery went well. She is in a lot of pain and does not want the kids to see her. This has limited me somewhat. I am glad it is over though. My sister LIsa and Barryare taking great care of her. > It comes in handy having a nurse as a sister, almost docter.
The other day at school, Kaylee was jealous because a tall blond (get use to is doll) although here it is worse cuz Barbie and Ken make all of the Babies with legs up to their armpits and my head. Anyways it was cute to see and how she is handling it. ONe thing for sure she knows she still likes him. She has a playdate with him tomorrow and she just said,’Oh yea, well woopie, sounds good if it ihappens, I will believe it when I see it.” She sounds more and more like a tween these days. Atleast she is her own person, uniuqe and has a caring heart. She kept on filling Neils bowl up with ice.
I have had so many emotions lately. Some dark, but mostly amazement and excitement. That there is so much opportunity out there. I remember being really excited about life, that is when I was not worrying about disease or now aging, people dying etc. I want to quit that for sure.
Tomorrow night I organized a happy hour for some of the people I know around town to meet. I love to set people up and or connect them. Once LeaveMeB sells than maybe I will do matchmaking. ? In the blood baby.
Tomorrow I have a business meeting, need to visit my mom and a therapy appointment. Hallelujah! I love my therapist and have a lot fo tell him but I do think this is a growth period for me. Boundries and standing up for myself, communicating but still being kind. I do have the feeling that when I watch shows or interact with people, I have gotten very good at letting their issues stay away from mine, and letting them go.
Anyways it is Cinco de Mayo and I am happy in bed. I want to lose a couple pounds before summer. NOt sure if is from the vino or what but I want my stomoach to be close to as flat as it use to be. I need to practice sucking it in like I did as a little girl at the beach in Ocean City, years ago. Go Ocean City. xo

From my-life

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