A riot

I am doing some work, before we go on our day full of errands before fun. We are getting our carpets cleaned, and Kaylee has not stopped talking to the Carpet cleaner guy named William. He is really sweet. She is screaming over the machine and asking him one thousand questions. He is really being patient. I love to listen to what she says. Speaking of yesterday she wanted to call Jasmine, who came to her birthday. She said she really wants to know if she came to our house on a magic carpet or a carriage. She said,”I hope it was the carpet, because I just really want to believe that There is some princess magic in the world left.” Ha ha.
Wills had Conner sleep over last night. Ashleigh’s girls babysat while I went to therapy and visited Hadley. I came home and the house was an absolute mess. I cleaned it up this morning but am really on the kids and trying to not shame them, to get them to clean up after themselves.
My mother took Kaylee and I shopping the other day. Much to my dismay I did not get anything. boo hoo. I guess it goes with my “Poor little rich girl,” theme that I dont’ really like. It is making me stronger but it sU*&!! I have never thought about money so much and been so thrifty. It is really humbling. I am racking my brain on how I can get more cash. Once the kids are in school, I will focus on my business one hundred percent.
I had a good therapy session yesterday. He is really helping me and for the time being that is all I can do since I have the kids so often. Summer is over in three weeks. I can’t believe it. I feel that they get jipped.
I feel like I need to watch my kids more when they run around the house and outside. I am trusting of others and them but I can tell it is affecting the way others view my parenting. Not sure if it is laziness or trust but whatever, I need to keep more of a watchful eye on them.
When Kaylee was shopping she kept on saying very dramatically,’This is just splendid and fabulous.” Then she asked me to go and get a much bigger cart for her. Ha. That was a very nice day with my mother and father. My mother told Kaylee that I am their baby and they adore me, and those words felt so good to hear. They are resonating with me in my head and heart for days. I just don’t feel like I am someone who should be adored these days but that makes it even more important. I am honest with my therapist and I know what I need to do, change and where I am going……..The road to honesty, authenticity and truth all of the way. I may have some detours but it is important to me to be all of these things.