Messy Elf

There is no such thing as a messy elf, Kaylee just confessed to me. She has been blaming all her messes when her room gets messy on the Eurpoean Messy Elf. So she confessed slowly and shiley to me that she made it up and all the while the mess came from she and her friends. It was right up there on the cuteness charts, or shall I say off the meter.
It is raining back east, humid and dewy. I am liking it. I am beginning to feel relaxed again and unwinding. My sister keeps telling me to avoid wheat, especially when going through an emotional time. I was taking an occasional xanax to help me sleep or calm me down but then I started feeling weird from it, and afraid I would die like Michael Jackson or Anna Nichole. Although I am not taking near the magnitude of what they were on but my imagination gets the best of me, and that is one reason, I have never been a drug person. So i guess in that respect it is a good thing.
I am missing the boys but realizing how important it is for me to get myself calm again. I think it is actually healthy for Wills to have time away from me, and me from him.
Today we are going to paint. I am going to paint a picture for my brother’s home. I feel the need to paint or should I say the desire.
I had a mishap on my brother’s stairs the other night. I was looking for the lightswitch and tripped down the stairs. So I am bruised and my shoulder is hurting. I am hoping to get a massage today. I certainly am missing my pampering and lunching out days.
Kaylee told me I am similiar to Barbie because we both wear ripped up jeans. Hmm. Yes ones that cost a few hundred bucks.
I still have some family to see. I have really enjoyed connecting with old friends and taking a break from my business while Charlene runs it. I am reading, running, yogaing, if there is such a word, pilatesing and playing with Kaylee. I am also sitting outside on the patio relishing in the calm and beauty around. I have decided I need to let a lot of my fears and worries go especially things out of my control. I sort of freaked out about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett-not to mention, worrying about my families problems or projected problems. I can’t wait until the day when I can hear something sad and or worrysome about somebody I care about and then just let it go.
Kaylee and I are learning to clean up after ourselves the scared way-scared of ocd David. I watch Kaylee pick up after herself and it is comical but good for both of us to learn from here on out. I just hope the thoughts and lessons learned will stay with me throughtout the trip and onward.
Thinking of going to Annapolis for the fourth and visiting my longtime friend Lisa Kahan. Her friend is having a huge party on the beach. My brother and his friend may go with us and we will all take the train. Sounds like a fun adventure. I really wish David would take Kaylee and I shopping to Nordstroms but dont’ dare ask him. I am going through withdrawls. ha ha.
Starting to feel the pinch of others wanting to see Kaylee and myself before we go. Knew it would happen. I just want to make sure I see Miner and my father’s two sisters who are elderly and not well. I would feel sad if I was not able to do that.
David just made me our morning Acacia berry smoothie with carrot juice. It makes me feel healthy when I drink it and God knows I need that. Atleast my appetite is back a bit now. NEver thought that would be a problem.