boo hoo

by Amy Cubbison on August 3rd, 2009

I was feeling really happy and almost back to normal due to a number of things, especially I believe eating gluton free. I believe that helps my allergies and my moods stay level. Anyways the sad news is one of my newest and closest friend’s is moving back to St Louis. I feel like my fricken heart is broken again. I can’t take this many fractures. I know I have tons of friends and yada yada yada but she is the salt of the earth kind of friend. I am soooooooo sad……….I will miss you Gail and your darling kids. Truly sad, but it seems to be the best thing for them.
I must be pmsing because today I have screamed at my kids for no reason more than twice. Well the reason is for them to leave me alone for a minute. I feel exhausted by all of their demands and all of their questions, and interruptions. So I apologize to them for that as I did today but looking forward to school!! Then I will miss them again and especially my Kaylee, whom has never been away from me. I just feel like sometimes I lose my cool or temper more than I use to with them. Who knows hormones or what but Mama’s gotta get it under control. I always feel bad after but feel that there is no listening or respect. I am actively trying to teach them to clean up after themselves and do things the right way, as I was never taught and it makes my life much more exhausting now.
We sold our home and I have had a range of emotions from good to terrible. The main one now is sort of freedom and excitement. I am tired of all the responsibility, commitment and care this big fricken house takes. I want to be freerer and have more fun with my kids ie;vacations, and water parks etc. Get in touch with my child again and not so much my ever lasting teenager.
Wednesday we have the Teen choice awards ironic enough. I am also ready for school to start to just stay home and mellow. My social life and activity level has been off the charts even for me.
I took wills to a an ocd specialist. Not sure if I wrote about this but it was a great experience for both of us……and very knowledgable. Sometimes I feel that I want to go back to get my masters. I miss learning and feel that it is so fun and adds so much to ones life without the superficiality aspect.
Kaylee and I went to a bday party yesterday> Since wills and Jac never want to go anywhere these days and Jac can’t separate from Neil, that does not leave me with many options. We had a nice time but when we went shopping for the gift Kaylee told the sales lady that we were both Shopaholics and our favorite movie was,”Confessions of a shopaholic.” She also mentioned the entire movie how similiar she and I were especially cuz she likes parties. Great. Then just as my self esteem was on the mend, at church yesterday after I had dirty hair up in a ponytail from the gym, Wills screamed ,”Oh my gosh your hair really is brown.” why can’t you just be all natural Mommy?”/////////hnmmmmmmmmmmmm. Goodnight.

From my-life

1 Comment
  1. SUMMER BGOER permalink

    WE ARE GF TOO. IT KEEPS ME AND MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THE INSANE ASSYLUM. MY KIDS HAVE ISSUES WITH WHINING ALL DAY LIKE LITTLE SIRENS IN MY EARS WITH AN EMERGENCY ALL FREAKIN’ DAY LONG. I SAW YOUR BUMPER STICKER, MOMS AGAINST WHINING AND THOUGHT, I HAVE TO CHECK OUT http://WWW.LEAVEMEB.COM
    ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET THE WHINING 24/7 OUTTA KIDS?

    MAY YOUR DAYS BE BLESSED EVER MORE,
    SUMMER

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