Lessons learned

by Amy Cubbison on August 31st, 2009

Lessons learned………….Damn this growing up stuff is super tough for me. How embarassing but true. By the time I totally grow up and figure this all out, I will be dead. Hopefully old and dead but dead. Anyways the project or work in progress is a super long process regarding me anyways. Also I will try and get better at blogging regularly to those of you inquiring, but after I find a home, settle my kids, have a garage sale, pack my stuff etc etc. ha . Just kidding but you get the message.
The lesson I learned today about myself and about growth due is that I finally got the courage in my mind and wallet, 2 get my scared, wimpy ass and take Kaylee to the dentist again. The last time I took her it was a nightmare. They put her in this body wrap, like for a mental patient and she was screaming and crying, and I was dying with empathy, shame and fear. Procastination is my middle name especially when it entails somebody I love being in emotional or physical pain. When I turn it all around and see how selfish it really is, or how I am not being a good role model to my kids or a true parent, it is like a slap in the face. A much needed slap in the face. Any volunteers? Never mind, don’t answer it.
A little bit of light stuff………Today I asked Kaylee to put her shoes on and she said,’No Mommy shoes are not my passion.” Ha. Get a load of that. She always hears me talk about passions and following them. As my therapist said today I am great at the love, mush and empathy card with the kids but not at the boring, details, everyday grown up things. Guilty as charged. Sick of it though, and now he insisted I stop taking advice and action from everyone else and just tell others and my kids that I am making a decision on my own, or sort of. So in saying that I am going to make an offer on a cute, adorable house, not to far from here and simplify, simplify.
I have had some other events occur that I need to blog about but at this time, I am taking a bath with Kaylee, and then going to watch a movie in beds with my kids which is when I am the most content and happy. How come I sometimes forget that.? it is a cycle that I need to break.

From my-life

Leave a Reply

Note: XHTML is allowed. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS