waiting anticipating

by Amy Cubbison on August 10th, 2009

waiting anticipating……..that is what Kaylee is saying to me because she is having a chocolate craving and dying to go to 7/11. She is whining so much. It is getting to that time of summer, where nobody wants to go out of the house but they just want to wander around and complain. Yep Back to school-hooray. I am a bit nervous about my work commitments that I promised myself and others. no more play, work, work, work. Kaylee is starting kindergarten, and she is more excited than scared. I am more upset than excited cuz of a few things ie; mainly i have to park everyday and walk them in and pick them up at the end of school. I know sounds bad but I am lazy about things like that. I like to drive up and pick them up. Spoiled me.
Kaylee has another loose tooth. Wills has transferred his anxiety now to taking about five baths a day. Today he even played in the sprinklers because he said the water feels good. I feel so bad for that little boy and I get upset when I lose my patience with him. Neil has better patience with him than I do now. I keep thinking about how William triggers me and I triggered my brother so much. It is where we get reactionary. anyways I have more empathy for my brother but still realize it needs to be controlled. I am not sure if I wrote about this but Wills was diagnosed with something called,”Pandas,” disease. It is not chronic and cured with antibiotics. Some of the side effects are having anxiety and ocd. Anyways I can’t wait for the day Wills does not worry so much and can be excited about life and enjoy life. He is such an amazing little guy. I have also brought his attention to how he picks on me, and now he is upset at himself for that. I am upset that he is upset. it is a super codependent situation but on the mend hopefully, as they say in Tally Ho. Where the heck did that expression come from.
Kaylee is calling everyone her B.ff. She is just like me, more b.f.f;s than can manage. I need a b.f.f. manager. Today someone told me I need to not share so much of my life and self with everyone as to not be judged. I said,”I agree, but for me that is super difficult and anything less feels superficial and shallow to me. I am working on that with Williams therapist as well. It is amazing the dynamics of mother and child with adhd, and ocd and the triggers.
I sometimes feel that I want to go back to school and get my masters. That is after I build my business and sell it off, and find a true success in my soul and in my mind!
I better take the kids to 7/11. They are getting desperate, they just told me that blue slurpies are known to be good for your body and back. Hmm. Not sure about that one but hey I am going to take them because I can’t take it much more. Ha. Then off to the Ham’s for a casual dinner. Bon Nuit

From my-life

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