Forever YOung
How cheesy does that sound? Ha. I am torturing myself in a bad and a good way right now. I am laying in bed listening to all of m songs on my ipod. THis is heartwrenching walk or stroll down memory lane. I am such an sappy sap. Ha ha. Last night my friend was saying to me, ” you are so lucky to feel things so deeply.’ Then my other friend said she wishes she could love like me, or trust for one day……….anyways, skipping church again. I am irritated since they started talking about the end of the world. Not the most uplifting meeting. I explained it to Wills how it is fear based and he finally got it. In saying that I need to find a church I like again, and get that part of my life going and strong again. I talk to God daily and feel connected to him, although some people do not agree that I can do that or others can.
My brother Peter is in town. So nice to see him. We all went to dinner last night at Su Casa. It was a nice evening. I have had some breaks from my kids this weekend and been missing them. Tomorrow is a holiday so we will do something nice with them.
I had a dream last night that I was in this big house and my kids were trashing it and messing it up so fast. All I was doing was wandering around feeling helpless, like I had no idea where to begin, and screaming at my kids. Then at one point I started little by little and kept saying to myself, one step at a time, over and over again. As to remind myself, which I have been doing as of late, that the inn box is always full but just do a few things out of it daily. It is funny, I have not had this overhwhelmed feeling since being in college..Atleast I did not have my super fat dream last night. I swear for three weeks, I have been having dreams that I am like fifty pounds heavier and I can’t fit in to anything, and everyone is commenting to me about it. I wake up relieved but then sometimes feel that yuckiness, I can feel.
I have been not drinking as much and being healthier and going to bed early. I am remembering how good it felt to live a clean life. I love to sleep, love it, love it.
So I think I need to have a blog just for Kaylee’s funny things she say’s. Just yesterday she told me that girls give away purses, and everytime they give them away, part of them dies. I hear ya girlfriend. Then she was watching tv and she said,’What is that dudes name?” I am sure a lot of this is Disney and also London Tipton. Funny but scary. Kaylee and Jac were having a conversation, about they’d love to be rich and they wish that they had a limosine to take them around town. Sure… THe other day I said to Kaylee that she had to share potatoe chips with jac, and she said,’ I really do not like to share, infact I wish it had never been invented.’ Ha. Love her mind.