Kaylee’s friend bday party.

by Amy Cubbison on May 15th, 2010

Today we are having a pool party for Kaylee’s bday. I also hired a makeup lady. I am sort of being last minute on this and going to run on adrenaline, but I hope Kaylee still has a blast, or I might have to have another small bday party for friends that can’t make it. Mainly boys……..which Kaylee seems to be very interested in. ………just like Mama always has been. Also had a meeting with Kaylee’s teachers and she has greatly improved with regards to reading and writing. She is at grade level. They say she needs to have a tutor this summer so she does not regress. The nicest thing about all of this is that kaylee’s self esteem has escalated and she is proud of herself.
She is really enjoying her Barbie car. There is nothing sweeter than watching my children just have sheer joy and laugh so hard. So wish me luck on the party.
I have taken two steps forward and three back again. this is in regards to hanging out with a friend who treats me poorly. I feel that I have my power back but for a while I was caught up in the cycle of wanting to be accepted and have them approve. It was pretty painful that i put up with someone who treated me like that again and went back for more. I guess it is pretty hard to really get past some of our childhood wounds. I have so many great people in my life that why would I want unsolicited critism??? I also have had to express several boundries this week and stand up for myself. Which I did and felt really good. One of them was with a somewhat stranger, whom is easier for me to have boundries with. She was a waitress and she for some reason was treating me like crap. Woman can be so catty but I asked her if I offended her in someway, and If I did, I apologized. She said no, and then she was really pleasant. Small but big for me. I can’t wait to hop back on the road to greater self esteem again.
I had the worst massage last week. I hate paying for something that I don’t enjoy the entire time. I just kept on thinking in my head, okay you might as well just stop cuz it’s not feeling good. But………since I know them, I did not want to hurt feelings AGAIN.
I have been listening to Christian music every morning and it has been so healing and inspirational. I also am going to listen to Agape”s services daily which are all about love, right up my alley. More later…………

From my-life

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