Happy Pre Fourth!!

Even though I dislike some holidays and the pressure that we have to be doing something fabulous (which feels so good to let go of) anyways but something about the fourth being such a family holiday the pressure is off. I love watching fourth of july’s in movies to document years passing and being proud to be an American. Anyways our neighborhood is having the kids do a bike parade and then a local barbque. I am looking forward to that. WE also are invited to some longtime friends house on the beach to watch the fireworks. So should be nice. My parents are coming to our local parade. I miss my father somuch> I can’t wait to see him. I had one of those dreams about him where he was like sixty pounds and I was so afraid of him dying. I was carrying him around loving on him so much and saying,”You are my Daddy and I love you so much.” He would smile when I said that and it make me feel so good to make hiim feel good. I am getting myself all choked up…………William has been sleeping in my room because he has been having nightmares. He told me this morning he had a nightmare that I was going to hurt myself. I am glad he told me that and that I was able to explain to him I would never do that and leave him like that on purpose. He felt relieved.
Today we are going to try a trampoline and if we like it buy it. The kids are excited.
Had a great therapy session yesterday. I went really deep and once again pulled myself back from all of my extremes and came in to some gray shades with some peace.
I told my therapist that he and my trainer give me faith in men that they are respectfull, and gentlemanly and that they both agree temptation is out there but don’t put themselves in that situation. I just think that is profound and gives me faith.