Ho hum

I opted out of going to a fashion show tonight. It is not easy to do that since I have a love affair with fashion. I am embarassed to mention that I am afraid I am missing out tonight. Sort of resembles my highschool days. MY niece katie is in town not to mention that there have been a lot of special occasions and events as well as friend’s in town. I promised my trainer a big change and cut back in my life after the races end. I am ready. Nobody believes me but I am looking forward to it. I have been getting up every morning with my kids and cooking them breakfast as well as making them a nice dinner at night. I will continue to do this as long as they listen to me and clean up after themselves. I have been being stricter and man is it hard but I think I am slightly getting through to them. Praise God. So here I am today in my house and something freaked me out-it was completely silent. It was almost unnerving. ha ha. I need to get more use to that and do more of that-come home and not go do something. I need to real it in and follow a budget. Not fun but I need to teach my kids and also stimulate creativity in all of us.
I saw the movie “Eat, Pray Love,” it was an amazing movie. It had great moments and lines in it. It did run a bit long though. It made me want to conquer my fear and go to Italy. I love Italian people. The movies main message that I got was the difference between Italians and Americans is Italians don’t have to earn relaxation and joy-they just do it and live it.
Last night our family went out to Donovan’s steak house for dinner without kids. It was really fun. We all had a lot of laughs and banters back and forth-although a few things my mother said are resinating in my head and hurt my feelings.
Kaylee is in love with her teacher.SHe made up a song that she has the best teacher in the world! So cute. Wills is having some adjustment with his new teacher. He has had teachers get and adore him and hopefully she will consend to that. I wish I had the patient, understanding teachers that my kids have. I either had teachers hate me or adore me and the ones that hated me, really scarred me.
I am really tired and going to bed early. I need to fill my bucket. I am excited that we are getting to school on time, and we are doing homework after school and following a schedule. Maybe not a schedule for others but for the Cubbison’s. I have not been late either. It feels good.l Now I have to do much more damage control on myself for my children’s sake. I just wish we lived in a world were nobody judges and everyone just saw the good in others. We don’t. William told me he does not want me to wear my exersize clothes to the school. I felt bad that he even had to say that to me. Too bad I am going through what I have been going through and it effecting William or the others in anyway. I truly believe I have crossed the roughest part and everyday is like an epiphany for what I want and don’t want.
I am feeling a little bit of the highschool feelings since school is back in and everyone is getting in their clicks. I frankly feel very overwhelmed at all of the new faces and old faces, keeping up with the school activities, who does what, who’s who’s mom, etc etc etc. It is over stimulation for me. It always takes me a while to get everything down pat in the new school year and still I have questions.
I guess a bunch of the neighbors feel that we are neglecting our dog Bailey. I admit that we dont’ have the energy to control him. He is the most hyper super dog. He gets out constantly and I am sick of it. I need to get the electric fence and get him nutured but both cost a lot of money and I need to be getting some in order to do that. I love him but he is a lot of work that we don’t need. Somehow I pictured having a puppy much different. He also has fleas like every dog in America. We have treated him several times and frankly I don’t know what to do now.
My niece and I have been hanging out. She is fifteen, and somewhat miserable like most teens her age. She told me she can’t wait to go and party with me. Great. No actually she is really cute and I am enjoying our relationship.
So I guess that is it today……exposing myself more…..hopefully connecting or helping another-that is what I aim for. Let’s all be kind, honest, authentic and come from love.