ouch

by Amy Cubbison on February 28th, 2011

OUch…….I feel like swearing……*&*&*((())) HOw’s that? My flippin schiatic is still acting up. I did have an MRI today and hopefully the results will show some quick ways to heal me. It is really giving me more compassion for people who have terminal, acute illnesses or pain. When I find a spot or position that does not hurt, than I just stay in it, and it feels so good to have some reprieve. I have shed a alot of tears over this shooting pain down my leg. :(. I am ready to not shed tears for anything, or anyone for a long time.
Although I said I needed to be more private about my preteen William’s things, and I do plan on doing that, I have to mention little things now and then because they are so adorable. He is having so much fun with his new friends, and his new awareness of girls. He shares with me when he is in the mood,and I am just loving it and him. He is so precious. It brings back so many memories for me. He asked me if he can have a party with fifty six graders this summer. I said ofcourse. I would love to do that for him. His social life is causing him some ups and downs but all of it is living and feeling and changing. Love him.
Jac is just a little love bug always. Since Neil was in the hospital, he has been so much more affectionate to me. LIke how he use to be. He is going to an LA soccer game this week and he is so excited. He wants to meet David Beckham and I said “Me to.” He use to be my friend on facebook, until someone deleated my account. Bummer.
I was suppose to go to the OScar gifting suite this weekend but due to my pain level, I opted out. Oh well. I did however go to a mellow but lovely OScar party at some good friends last night. The company, and food was very nice and I really enjoyed the OScar show-although I have not seen a number of movies nominated. Yesterday we went to go and try and see ‘The kings Speech,” but when we go there , the electricity was out. I was highly dissapointed but we ended up watching” Hall pass.” It was really surpirsingly funny and touching> I enjoyed it. I really am enjoying a lot in life, and the little things. I am enjoying my children all day long and every minute I have with them, except when they are crying or whining-but that is becoming much less often. I am also enjoying having the excuse to lay in my bed and watch movies, to tend to my leg. I lay on a hot pad with my feet elevated and it helps. I have tons of good books to read-self help, and just plain novels. I have Vogue magazines, and my journal, and recipe books. Between all that, and pay per view movies-I am enjoying myself. I have even skipped the gym for the past few days which is a nice break.
I mentioned earlier that Kaylee said each bright star int the sky is a person or animal that loved her and died. They are looking down on her. Fortunately its all animals for her so far. William said today was one of the worst days of his life, and then I mentioned me almost dying and or Neil, and he agreed that trumped today in badness.
The other night Kaylee and Marina did a fashion show for Diane and I . Well let me tell you the fashion shows that Kaylee has seen with me, helped her. Kaylee and Marina had great outfits on and they really were strutting their stuff, especially Kaylee> She had so much confidence and personality. Love her. I am feeling lots of love for a lot of people, but with new boundries, and feeling so much healthier about whom I want to hang out with, and how I deserve to be treated. I was talking to one of my childhood friends from second grade today and telling her that my car accident was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, in the sense that it made me grow up so much and become so much stronger. I feel like writing a song about it and singing it (like Mary BLige), although I won’t punish everyone 🙂 like that. I am getting compliiments on the way I have healed and how much younger I look, and how much healthier and in shape I am again. It feels great……….I start school in one week and I am so looking forward to geting my therapist license. Tshirt business is good, I still plan on writing a book, and continuing to cook for friends, and paint. I have two painting finished and tI am giving them to two of my very dear friends, and that will make me happy to present to them. I am taking a very low dose of the medicine which helps me focus and it really works on me. I have never felt more organized and at peace> I am sure the fact that my life is so much more slow and simple helps, but I definitely notice a chemical difference. I even passed on going to a big fashion show this week and it did not even bother me for a minute……Terra

From my-life

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