To Blog or not to blog…..

by Amy Cubbison on November 21st, 2011

I have battles in my mind about this……There are pros and cons for having an open blog, and of course the negative aspects. I can’t write everything I want because others read my blog, including family. It is fine the first year but as the blog gets more popular, then it gets one in trouble (me). But on the positive, if there is any-being the somewhat exhibitionist I am, I like to express myself to close friends and apparently others. It gives me a sense of clarity, and although it is voueristic (spelling ?) for others and myself, that makes me write often…..I do think I need to have a more private one and then a public fun one …….As one of my friends called me out on today, is putting myself out there to much, and photos that may have a bit to much cleavage-i need to be more careful and as I say every week, more private………..Today I was taken for my fifteenth bday lunch……It was another longtime friend, whom I love and adore Cynthia. We went to El Callejon…….She loves all my stories………..You know that old projection I always talk about, or disliking something in another that is in ourselves ? well I hate that I know that because AGAIN everytime I judge or see something I dont like in someone else I find it in myself. I repeat this all of the time but it is baffling…….Like me struggling to pay bills for the first time in my life, and opportunities coming to me.Well it is much harder to not be tempted ……I am not doing anything wrong or illegal, i just have empathy for people who lived like this all of their lives….Tests of character daily…….Fortunately mine is short lived and my mother is just teaching me the reality and appreciation of money..which I have used, abused, and wasted and not valued………Now I am looking at prices of food and gas.etc……….anyways my continued country song….now car needs breaks…..So my friend Jason is taking me to the grocery store…….So just a quick story before I am off…….Yesterday my father came over to visit. Since I am having car troubles, I have not been to la jolla to visit them. Was really missing my father and know his time on this earth will not be forever, sO i need to see him more…..anyways that is on my goals and list, along with a lot of other things to add and improve my life, the kids and his….anyways Kaylee was so cute to him, and dancing and hugging him. She said nice things to him, and he was loving it. HIs smile was priceless. Then I played THe beatles for my dad and He was bopping and rocking his head to the music as if he had never heard it before………It was so cute. He can’t talk well but can sing well since his stroke….not on key but clear. ha ha. We are the tone deaf lasensky family…..Then I showed him a video of my niece Annalise, writing and performing a song and my father broke in to tears…….It killed me. Dyane was there an she said it is a good thing because he has a lot of emotion and he is feeling it…..I was balling in no time flat…..and my dear friend Dyane said,’ WEll the apple does not fall far from the tree.” I am my father’s daughter……in many ways…….oh and the thing that was bugging me about others that is in myself, is talking about myself to much………..I need to work on that, because it is annoying to me and I dont want to be that person .

From my-life

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