Lap of Lux

by Amy Cubbison on February 2nd, 2012

Well my life has certainly been from rags to riches lately…….At least rags to me……My friend has this new boyfriend who is generous and awesome . They invite me everywhere especially to fine dining…….My favorite Pamplemouse last night………Feast of famine……I can handle things being tougher when continuing to have fun and visit the good life…………….Today I had my biopsy on my breast. I was so scared and had to go alone at last minute………I am happy it is over and now I am anxious for the results……if good scratch one illness of my list for a while…….Then I will have to deal with some of the other things I have been procrastinating on. The lab tech, was a nice woman who could tell I was scared. She kept her hand on my leg the entire time. It was very comforting……..anyways have to wait four or five business days to hear…..Hopefully good news……..I keep hearing so many sad stories of cancer, death and illness. One of my b.f.f. Dyane just got diagnosed with a acid reflux disorder….She has to completely change her diet and limit wine to one or two glasses a week, no acid food, and no coffee…..well let me tell you, she is also the one telling me about the deaths, and can be a hypochondriac……..so Our conversations are just so upbeat. ha ha. I am teasing her. I know it is a stage……The other day I promised my kids to bring them special sandwiches from Subway and such….I completely forgot and the were starving when their dad came…..Parental guilt and regret is painful…..every decision i make hastily or comment I say, makes me worry of the repurcussions ………..Saw my father today. He looks good. He was so upset that he could not stay for my surgery. He was yelling . IT touched my heart that he just wanted to make sure I was okay……..I am craving love, and acceptance from my mother, as I have done often…..She is being super tough love on me and it hurts…..I am making changes but obviously not as fast as she wants…….I have dreams where I am crying for her and others to love me..:( and accept me…………I had a dream i was Marilyn Monroe last night-or playing her in a play and my favorite part was when I was in long gown or spinning around on a stage that rotated and was admired….and I was proud of my performance…………….I have done a lot of laughing lately with my friends…..Love to laugh. I was explaining to one of my friends how insecure I was when I met my husband of twenty some years. I was so afraid for him to get bored, or not be having fun….I felt like I was on for the first ten years together and I did not stop talking or entertaining…….We laughed at that although it is a bit sad….I have come a long way from doing that ever again……even though I have done some back tracking……………….Yesterday I was going on you tube and sending songs that meant something to me, to a lot of friends…….I was choked up with sentimentality but yea that is weird for me……..ha ha

From my-life

Leave a Reply

Note: XHTML is allowed. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS