Bon Soir

by Amy Cubbison on January 19th, 2013

My daughter Kaylee, just said the best thing to me…She said,’ I love being me.” Yay. That is always what I wanted her to believe and be like. I always wanted to be someone other than myself…Not anymore !! 🙂 Now when someone say’s something very hurtful or insulting to me, I can recognize if there is truth in it or not…That is freeing…..Having so much family around is intense. I find myself feeling so many things. My siblings all try to baby me, and teach me things. Instead of looking at it as that, I get defensive. I take it as I am doing things wrong….I need to work on that…..As I always say we are a complicated family with a lot of love…….There is so much more going on with my father’s final days, than I could ever explain. I do keep some things private…But I will say this, Yesterday my friend Ronnie, the spiritual healer came to see my father and myself. It was sooooo touching and beautiful. My father was looking in to her eyes, and patting her. He fell asleep and so did i..I was alternating between feeling connected to my father and another. It was very powerful and healing…..The drama happened later that night when Ronnie, told my mother what she felt, my Dad was trying to convey. She told my mother that my father feels heartbroken he is in the home and not dying at his home in la jolla……There are much more complexities than this but I have learned I do need to keep some things private and for myself and respect of my family……….Kaylee is here with me at our beautiful hotel. Her ear hurts so we are just hanging in the hotel. I gave her tylenol masked in sorbet….So we are just ordering room service and connecting while we watch movies….an eat . Kaylee just looked t me and said,”this is the life.”……… All of this is teaching me that being old is not great so……live life to the fullest…….be honest and true to yourself and others , as well as find a balance between your happiness between working on our own happiness as children are temporary….while being the best parent we can.

From my-life

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