Good Morning

by Amy Cubbison on January 30th, 2013

Last night I was suppose to have a few friends and cook for them. I was not feeling one hundred percent yet, so I rescheduled. I always have to watch piling to much on. I felt better sunday and I did to much. I am use to bouncing back one hundred percent and with this flu I have not. I hear it takes a while. I hate to cancel but I need to take care of myself first. Kaylee and I had a good night. We also are having a good routine in the morning. Kaylee feels really good that we are on top of things. I do to. My roomate is moving out-Yay!! Despite the needed money it will be nice to have her gone. She will be one of the last unhealthy relationships I have myself in. The good news is I recognize it now and do not react. Speaking of money, I have never lost sleep due to bills due. I know this is all good for me and this time is a growing, necessary time but….ugh!!!…….My brother David, commissioned out two paintings for me to paint. I have to go get some new canvases. It will be nice to delve myself in to painting. I have been working for my other brother Peter four days a week, while the kids are in school. I have been doing well, and booking a lot of demos and appointments. I am attending the show next week in Vegas with Peter. One night of work and play, should be nice…….I miss my father so much. I called him yesterday and said I will visit on Friday. I also can’t see my brothers baby Phillip. MIss him. I dream about babies, or being pregnant often. Speaking of a baby, our puppy, Chloe, is like having a baby. She comes with me everywhere. I have to constantly watch her from chewing things, getting in to things, feed her, walk her, and then the rest of the day she sits on my lap. ALL OF THE TIME. It is nice but I feel a lil tired from her. I can’t even leave her for five minutes without her crying or following me. The other day Lou had her and he said she ran all the way home to my house. Lou was not too happy about running after her in the streets…….William and I have been getting along great. He is even giving me kisses in front of his friends. It is nice to be getting along. I tend to not worry so much about him this way………Jac has to get a blood test because he has some cysts on his thyroid. Please pray. It is very scary but a great chance he will be okay…………I definitely am attending church this sunday. I need God and all the positive powers of good influence these days………Kaylee said to me yesterday,’She thinks her buck teeth are cute and she will be sad when they are gone from braces.’ Ha ha. I told her no you won’t when you are twenty something………..I have a loooong list of TO DO’s. I am just using my own advice that I give everyone…….Just cross off a couple of things at a time. RIght now I just need to focus on my self, Kids, family and friends-nothing else…….It does not feel right. The other day Jac and I were playing a somewhat like scrabble game on his computer. It was really fun. It was nice to spend that sort of quality time with Jac. I need and want to do more of it. He is doing amazing at soccer, my little champ…….Kaylee starts gymnastics next week. I can’t wait for her. She also wants to try either theater or guitar lessons…Hmm…Dinero?? I can honestly say that I have learned so much about budgeting and money. Now I see how three dollars here and there, can be very wasteful, and not necessary,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I have been listening to this Love station on Cyrius. It brings back so many memories. Yesterday i heard You Light Up My life.” Wow, and I also heard my first 45 I ever bought in third grade. 🙂 My clothes are all fitting much better and old clothes are fitting. The best part is I do not have a double chin anymore..:) I just need to continue to eat healthy and balanced despite not having an appetitite. I went to yoga yesterday and that felt good . Today I am going to the actual gym……Maybe that will perk up my appetite………I miss eating and enjoying healthy food…………..Gonna lay low but saturday night my friend Gina is having an event at Sushi on the Rock. So we shall see………….One day at a time…………..Oh and my Hopsice therapist did a house call as I was sick. He is very young but very good. He really helps me see how dealing with loss and death, can really take a toll on oneself. He also helps me to realize how normal some of my thoughts are, and acknowledge this is a difficult time in my life but………I will come out stronger, braver, more empathetic to things I never had to deal with. Once a parent dies you belong to a club that only members can understand.

From my-life

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