by Amy Cubbison on October 31st, 2013

I dreamt about my childhood at the Ocean City shore…It was a beautiful, peaceful dream. That was the happiest times of my childhood…..I love to imagine and visualize my father when he was strong and robust…… I am practicing detachment lately. It is difficult for me but I realize if I wan to be happy and be the best for my children that I must……..Chloe is a little terror….She howls when I drive by mcDonalds as she wants a sausage-any McDonalds. She recognizes the golden arches. I need to video tape it…Then she tears every thing she finds in to hundreds of pieces. A whole toilet roll, and Kaylee curlers, My foam mattress, and all of my exercise clothes and underwear…….ugh!!!! But we love her………..I am really practicing mindfulness lately. I like being alone in my bed at times……and listening to all of the sounds outside. I feel that I have been truly disappointed in some that I believed in but then I need to remember, that was the image I had of them, and not their true nature.. I dislike phony people and those all about image….I do see how there is a certain level we need to keep just for our children but to lie, fake, and hide behind people, places and things makes me sick…….Once upon a time I did that to some degree, and it felt gross…Like I was a fake …..yuck….Hard to look at myself in the mirror…I also see how now that I am getting better at boundaries and expressing mine- i have more conflict and others do not like it….It is hard for me to accept but it is building my confidence because humans are complex and everyone has people that they do not choose to be with, hang out with, or aspire to be. It is okay to have differences with others…..I have gotten much better at respecting others boundaries but I still slide back sometimes…..that and my ever trying to improve my cleaning……All the things I use to take for granted , I now dream of……….and will appreciate to the hills when they are back but this time with perspective and caution…

From my-life

  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I am
    waiting for your next write ups thank you once again.

  2. I quite like looking through an article that can make people think.
    Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!

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