So I am bribing or actually just parenting to have my kids clean up the house, that they messed up after I cleaned it up yesterday-in order for me to take them to Legoland and water park. I am so lazy today. I have that too busy tired thing going.
Kaylee told me this morning that ear was is gross. I said I know. Then she said she tasted it like her boogies in her nose. yuck!!
William who has been enjoying victoria secret magazine lately, came in my room and I had a half bra on. He had a “talk” with me and said,”Mommy you and I need to go bra shopping and get some real bras that fit you and cover your nipple. Ha ha.
So short but sweet………off to Legoland. Talk to you soon.

Okay I have to admit that my lack of spelling and grammar is getting to me now. I can be kicked back for so much, for so long. I think I need to pay more attention to it. I get confused between not caring what anyone thinks and having people judge me as to harm other people in my life. I keep dreaming about going back to school to get my phsychology degree. I want to put that energy or my energy in to learning, helping and growing. That fills my tank tons more than exterior temporary things. Just gotta build and sell the tshirt business. It is time for a change.
My mother had a “talk” with me. I don’t mind talks but right now with kids all day, my life is a whirlwind. Anyone who comes in my world sees why me and most other moms need our breaks and nights off.
My house is a mess right now, and so I will straighten it for the third time. Now I understand why my friend’s clean their houses before their maid comes-or I mean straighten-because then they can really do detail work. I need detail work. Right now my attitude is just do what needs to be done, have fun with the kids, and without the kids, Two more weeks till school and one more month of track……..then mellow yellow. Atleast mellow for me.
Good news though-my friend Gina invited us to Lake Tahoe, for a week in her brother’s penthouse. Yeah> I have never been there and so excited and so are the kids!! Finally a cheap vacation this summer!!!
GOtta get the dog he is out again……Calgon!!!

Sorry. I have been bad at blogging. Very busy, with my social life, kids, racing season, and normal stuff. Having a nice summer in all ways except for my house is somewhat neglected. Getting my kids to help around the house is soooooooo much more draining and difficult than I ever thought. I need to call someone in. Seriously. ha.
Kaylee said two really funny things this morning to our dog Bailey. He was acting up and she said to him “inner peace Bailey, inner peace. that is what it is all about.” Ha ha. Love it. then she said to him that she needed to teach him some manners. fyi that is what we have been saying to kaylee daily……….all we have to do is say “would a princess do that? ” Except I get stuck then because a princess would not clean her room. ha ha

Summer is here………except not to much sunshine but we are getting in to a routine now………..the routine of no routine. Love it. Waking up at nine these days with kids. They have stopped asking me over and over how much summer is left, and they are not as bored. The trampoline has added a lot. WE are going to do some theme parks and go visit Jean in SLO, so that will add some pizzaz to our summer.
I am in a good, silly mood today. I am feeling that feeling that i had as a kid where Summer is about having fun.
Maica and I just danced with the kids to “Buttercup,” and it was so fun. The girls were so happy, and the smiles were so gleeful.
Yesterday this Mexican man walked up to me and looked at my sign on my car, and then asked me if I was a cleaning service? Ha ha. Do I look like a maid? Not to mention, I don’t hardly even clean my own house. Ha ha.
I have gotten myself in a few pickles with my new phone. When I am texting one person, others texts pop up, and I respond thinking it is a different person……..oopsy adds some action for Who’s That Girl….
Having a small bday party for my friend. There are so many bdays this month. It is crazy. I love Leo’s and get along with them well……hmm you think there is a connection????

Yesterday was our first full day at the beach and it was fabulous!!! I mean we got out early an the kids did not complain at all. When I got up they were laying on the trampoline in the sun. WE are getting in to the groove. Anyways yesterday was Melanie’s sons annual birthday-ha ha aren’t they all. The kids had a blast playing in the water, sand and sun. I got to connect with a lot of friends in Carmel Valley which made me miss them and our old home. We stayed to the beach until late and then went over michelles pool. We barbyqued and the kids swam….I was on an eating frenzy since I am still pmsing…..
Kaylee asked the boys to put together the net for trampoline and she said she will stand by and assist-when they get parched she will get water for them. ha ha ha. Exciting things happening for LeaveMeB.com stay tuned. Oh and Teen choice awards august 7th…….yeah

Summertime boredom with the kids and a pmsing Mom don’t work well together. I am sounding ungreatful because the sun is finally out and it has been beautiful. That will definitely help with the kids bordom. Why by the way I am reminded of every summer why I should not do more camps? I need to look back at my blog and see if I have said this the past four summers. At any rate it seems once we get it all smooth and balanced, with playdates, solo time, family time, and vacation time……..then it is back to school time. The problem is that their expectations are so high. One playdate a day is not enough unless it lasts for twenty four hours. Anyways, I still love having no schedule or having them to take to school in the morning. Some days are better than others but I am having a hard time when they wake up and say they are bored ten minutes later. Ofcourse me being the people pleasure and always trying and failing with them get’s frustrating. I need to remember that it is not my job to make them happy and entertained every minute. as my friend Cruise director on the LoveBoat. ha ha. Thanks Robin for that. Anyways, I just need to separate my fears and emotions from being a mom in charge of my children. I do know i have been pretty adamant about them cleaning up after themselves over and over. I am like a broken record but it is sort of working. They are so surprised and keep saying to me,’You are changing.” They no likie. Ha. Then when I am nice they are happy to see it. Making up for lots of lost time. It is ten times harder now……please learn from me.

Some summer daze are great and some are more difficult. Today it was sunny for the first time in weeks, maybe even months. That was a plus and we were able to go to the pool since the marine layer was over the beach. The beginning of the day was hectic because everyone was bored ten minutes after they woke up and everyone wanted different things to eat, and play with and where> This is tough for me since I always want to please. I went to the gym, then to Trader Joes and spent a bloody fortune. Then when I got home and asked the kids to help with groceries, they acted like I am so demanding. I was trying to feed a bunch of kids, lunch and not one person was content. I was stressed out. This is where I should just let it go but I keep trying and then get super frustrated. I am really trying to get my kids to listen and help out but I have to make up for lost time and that is super hard. My friend Charlene helps me a lot and I am going to have Cami, a friend and school teacher come and get some more structure in this house. I am noticing how bad it is especially in the summer because they are around all of the time, and so are the friends kids and neighbors. I love it but need to be respected and listened to more. I cleaned up today two times and had to yell a few times to get them to pick up after themselves……Well I guess there is nobody to blame but me and maybe……….

Ugh…………How can I keep this house clean and straight this summer with all of the kids hanging out here? I have my three and then playdates and my nephew has been hanging out here a lot. Which the boys are loving to the upteenth degree. Anyways, I am just going to put some time and energy in to keeping house clean and then do what I do often and LIG……..let it go.
This morning is a really lazy one. Kaylee and I are still in bed. I have been reading, listening to music, checking my emails, resting my eyes on and off, and snuggling Kaylee and Bailey. I love that dog when he sleeps. Kaylee said then he is the best dog in the world. Ha ha. I hear you. ADHD drugs for puppy. Kaylee was singing the song to Bailey today that we will find his mother somewhere in the world…..Very cute. I love watchin the kids care and love for Bailey. Yesterday when we drove up his lil face was poking out of the shades to see us with his squirrel tail wagging.
Oh and by the way……..Happy Fourth of July! We are going to go to our friend’s pool a bit. Our neighborhood is having a children’s, decorated bike parade, then a neighborhood grill out. I am looking forward to seeing the kids and hopefully William will meet some kids his age.
Yesterday I hung out in the afternoon with my boys on the driveway. It is sunny in the front yard, and it was very chill. It reminded me of my father when I was a little girl-and how he would lay down on the concrete anywhere. I was laying on the driveway, which was warm from the sun, and giving Jac airplane rides and flips. William was painting next to us some wood boats he made. I kept on enjoying the surrounding beautiful, mature trees around us and the moment. Doing nothing my favorite thing to do.
Last night we went to dinner with my brother, Joey, and my parents. I was so missing my father so it was great to see him. He looked really good and it calmed my mind. Not sure if I blogged about it, but I had some sad, worrysome dreams about my father last week. I was telling him how much I love him to make him smile in the dream as I was in real life last night. The kids and I made my Dad smile a lot. It feels so good to see that. I kept on looking at my parents and thinking how hot they are at their ages, or any ages. This man was at the bar who was doing magic tricks for my kids. He was really entertaining. The kids really enjoyed it and then he did a trick or two for my father. The man kept on saying to me that my daughter and i were so similiar and both beautiful! It was in a nice way and not a perverted way.
I ate out breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday……..feel like a piglet today. Oh well back to eating healthy on Monday.
Reading a new book I bought on Codependence as well as continuing my other ones of addicted to addicts and love. When I read those books, I really feel validated. I keep saying with codependence and ADD, I am covered/ I love to feel somewhat normal and understand some of my thoughts and feelings that don’t feel good.
Kaylee, I mean, Chloe and remember I am Coco, just came in dressed in the cutest, creative outfit, she put together. She has pizazz. She made up a song last night called, I’m cute, funny and make lot’s of money. Then she would stretch her arms out as if she was stretching a one hundred dollar bill. I said to her if you have a lot of money, give me some please. Ha ha. terra

Ugh…………How can I keep this house clean and straight this summer with all of the kids hanging out here? I have my three and then playdates and my nephew has been hanging out here a lot. Which the boys are loving to the upteenth degree. Anyways, I am just going to put some time and energy in to keeping house clean and then do what I do often and LIG……..let it go.
This morning is a really lazy one. Kaylee and I are still in bed. I have been reading, listening to music, checking my emails, resting my eyes on and off, and snuggling Kaylee and Bailey. I love that dog when he sleeps. Kaylee said then he is the best dog in the world. Ha ha. I hear you. ADHD drugs for puppy. Kaylee was singing the song to Bailey today that we will find his mother somewhere in the world…..Very cute. I love watchin the kids care and love for Bailey. Yesterday when we drove up his lil face was poking out of the shades to see us with his squirrel tail wagging.
Oh and by the way……..Happy Fourth of July! We are going to go to our friend’s pool a bit. Our neighborhood is having a children’s, decorated bike parade, then a neighborhood grill out. I am looking forward to seeing the kids and hopefully William will meet some kids his age.
Yesterday I hung out in the afternoon with my boys on the driveway. It is sunny in the front yard, and it was very chill. It reminded me of my father when I was a little girl-and how he would lay down on the concrete anywhere. I was laying on the driveway, which was warm from the sun, and giving Jac airplane rides and flips. William was painting next to us some wood boats he made. I kept on enjoying the surrounding beautiful, mature trees around us and the moment. Doing nothing my favorite thing to do.
Last night we went to dinner with my brother, Joey, and my parents. I was so missing my father so it was great to see him. He looked really good and it calmed my mind. Not sure if I blogged about it, but I had some sad, worrysome dreams about my father last week. I was telling him how much I love him to make him smile in the dream as I was in real life last night. The kids and I made my Dad smile a lot. It feels so good to see that. I kept on looking at my parents and thinking how hot they are at their ages, or any ages. This man was at the bar who was doing magic tricks for my kids. He was really entertaining. The kids really enjoyed it and then he did a trick or two for my father. The man kept on saying to me that my daughter and i were so similiar and both beautiful! It was in a nice way and not a perverted way.
I ate out breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday……..feel like a piglet today. Oh well back to eating healthy on Monday.
Reading a new book I bought on Codependence as well as continuing my other ones of addicted to addicts and love. When I read those books, I really feel validated. I keep saying with codependence and ADD, I am covered/ I love to feel somewhat normal and understand some of my thoughts and feelings that don’t feel good.
Kaylee, I mean, Chloe and remember I am Coco, just came in dressed in the cutest, creative outfit, she put together. She has pizazz. She made up a song last night called, I’m cute, funny and make lot’s of money. Then she would stretch her arms out as if she was stretching a one hundred dollar bill. I said to her if you have a lot of money, give me some please. Ha ha. terra

Even though I dislike some holidays and the pressure that we have to be doing something fabulous (which feels so good to let go of) anyways but something about the fourth being such a family holiday the pressure is off. I love watching fourth of july’s in movies to document years passing and being proud to be an American. Anyways our neighborhood is having the kids do a bike parade and then a local barbque. I am looking forward to that. WE also are invited to some longtime friends house on the beach to watch the fireworks. So should be nice. My parents are coming to our local parade. I miss my father somuch> I can’t wait to see him. I had one of those dreams about him where he was like sixty pounds and I was so afraid of him dying. I was carrying him around loving on him so much and saying,”You are my Daddy and I love you so much.” He would smile when I said that and it make me feel so good to make hiim feel good. I am getting myself all choked up…………William has been sleeping in my room because he has been having nightmares. He told me this morning he had a nightmare that I was going to hurt myself. I am glad he told me that and that I was able to explain to him I would never do that and leave him like that on purpose. He felt relieved.
Today we are going to try a trampoline and if we like it buy it. The kids are excited.
Had a great therapy session yesterday. I went really deep and once again pulled myself back from all of my extremes and came in to some gray shades with some peace.
I told my therapist that he and my trainer give me faith in men that they are respectfull, and gentlemanly and that they both agree temptation is out there but don’t put themselves in that situation. I just think that is profound and gives me faith.