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Feb 2 17

The calm after the storm

by Amy Cubbison

For those of you who have read or know…………Last year was a very trying year. I am happy to say we are not completely out of the dark but we have come a long way. All of my children are doing well.  I cant explain the feeling to you if you have not experienced it. The feeling that your child may not come home or may not be safe…….Worrying all of the time………anxiety ridden………Now sometimes in between my joy and peace, I have boredom but that is easily taken care of……..and I prefer boredom to anxiety any day…This is my year where I am going to make changes, take charge, finish things I started……try to find backing for one of my inventions………..work on my faith and spirituality every day………….and for the superficial part of it be able to wear a mid drif or exercise halter with my tummy showing……………….I cant seem to get completely rid of that little tummy no matter but that is my goal and I see it!!!!!

Feb 2 17

Time For catch up…..LeaveMeB.com January 26 at 6:08pm · Today was a much better day than yesterday. The more I learn about starting my day out right with positive thoughts, prayers, vibrations and the law of attraction-the more I can control my day. Yesterday Kaylee was telling me all of her lifetime plans and goals. She was so positive, and clear. She told me she can visualize it. I listened to all of her plans, and I just thought to myself I am so proud and happy that I have a daughter that has such self actualization at such a young age. She is focused but loves and enjoys life along the way. She is not concerned with being popular just having true, close friends and focusing on her dreams and hopes…………I asked her,” if she ever tried to copy someone or pretend that she was them?” She said,”No why would I do that < I like who I am?" I told her I did that as a child.....

by Amy Cubbison
 Dear Blog,
I am sorry I am so sporadic .    But then again I have not been focused on this blog or my business in a while. I keep having these people tell me that they are going to help optimize it again and take over but it never happens. There goes my trusting again……..I put so much creativity in building this and yes many mistakes were made………but I do not want to close it    I am happy to sell a tshirt whenever somebody wants one…….even though I am on page 300

Today was a much better day than yesterday. The more I learn about starting my day out right with positive thoughts, prayers, vibrations and the law of attraction-the more I can control my day.
Yesterday Kaylee was telling me all of her lifetime plans and goals. She was so positive, and clear. She told me she can visualize it. I listened to all of her plans, and I just thought to myself I am so proud and happy that I have a daughter that has such self actualization at such a young age. She is focused but loves and enjoys life along the way. She is not concerned with being popular just having true, close friends and focusing on her dreams and hopes…………I asked her,” if she ever tried to copy someone or pretend that she was them?” She said,”No why would I do that < I like who I am?” I told her I did that as a child…..

Today was a much better day than yesterday. The more I learn about starting my day out right with positive thoughts, prayers, vibrations and the law of attraction-the more I can control my day.
Yesterday Kaylee was telling me all of her lifetime plans and goals. She was so positive, and clear. She told me she can visualize it. I listened to all of her plans, and I just thought to myself I am so proud and happy that I have a daughter that has such self actualization at such a young age. She is focused but loves and enjoys life along the way. She is not concerned with being popular just having true, close friends and focusing on her dreams and hopes…………I asked her,” if she ever tried to copy someone or pretend that she was them?” She said,”No why would I do that < I like who I am?” I told her I did that as a child…..

Dec 23 16

Merry Christmas

by Amy Cubbison

As the holidays are upon us I really am missing and thinking of my dear father. My heart is aching but fortunately I feel his presence and his love. During the holidays my father would always wear plaid pants and red cashmere sweaters. He looked so handsome. My father was a true gentleman. A rare find these days. When we went to Christmas mass or to a holiday party, I would fall asleep on the way home. I remember so clearly my father carrying me up to my room and feeling so safe and protected. My mother dressed me in patent leather shoes and itchy, fancy dresses. I loved, loved Christmas and every ritual we followed. My daughter is now following my foot steps and lecturing on how it all should be done……….On another wonderful note……All of my east coast family will be here for the holidays………….my large, complicated but loving family members…….xo Feeling blessed

Nov 29 16

Ho Ho Ho…….

by Amy Cubbison

I have been in such the holiday mood that I almost feel that the holidays have come and gone. ha ha. Just kidding. I love to make plans but when the weather is cold outside, my plans become limited……..I know the other half of the country is laughing at us here in cali…….No place I’d rather be.
After the post birthday blues……..I am feeling up and up………I always do when I take good care of myself……….sleep, eat well, exercise, moderation on the vino…….…I am so in to watching these suspense murder mysteries that it is effecting my life. I love them and cant get enough but then my dreams are terrible. I even find myself being paranoid outside like everything is a clue for a case. I need to mix it up with my old favorite love, romance, drama and comedy…….I felt like yesterday I had an Aha moment such as Oprah calls it during hot yoga………..I definitely believe I am going through some transitions………….necessary ones……….I have a bit more confrontation in my life but that is because I stand up for myself more, have better boundaries and no longer want to be told what to do and treated like a child. My epiphany was that I can be strong, and I want to be strong but I can still be fair, honest, and kind. I am not going to be the person that that everyone blames everything on and take it, even if it is not my doing. I am going to speak my truth, evaluate my position and wrongs if there are any, admit them and then let it go. I will not beg for friendships or anything. I tell you it is uncomfortable at first because others do not like it and it surprises them. I just envisioned the life I want and the person I want to be……..and it felt fabulous!!!!! I also had a huge inspiration for writing a children’s book with Kaylee……………one goal at a time but I want to live life to the fullest and not be so upset over an age spot or a wrinkle because life is so much more than that. I am so grateful for the love and relationships I have in my life and have cultivated…………..The other night Kaylee was missing me so we layed in bed and watched “Breakfast at Tiffanys” holdings hands and eating popcorn. This has become a tradition……Kaylee kept on hugging me and telling me how much she loved me and it was the best feeling in the world!!!!! and again…….when I find myself from time to time worrying about the future………….I just remind myself to bring myself back to the present and the worry goes away…………….

Nov 15 16

My bday letter from Jean

by Amy Cubbison

Amy….

She was my first BFF, and will forever be the one with whom I have the longest friendship of my life. 

I am the friend Amy met when we were one year old back on Nathan Hale Road in Pennsylvania. Amy will tell anyone that; any stranger, no matter where we are. Then she will proceed to explain how we grew up together back east, lived across the street from one another, did so many “firsts” together such as playing with Barbies, shaving our legs, smoking a cigarette, shoplifting, running away on my front porch….

I could go on for so long because I have 49 years of history with Amy. We did fun girly stuff together, we got into trouble, we shared laughs and tears, happiness and heartbreaks, marriages and divorces. We grew up together. 

Amy is the reason I moved to California. I was her maid of honor and she was my matron of honor. I was there when William was born, and Jac, and Kaylee. 

Amy and I are sort of like ying and yang…. very different but a perfect balance. I love her dearly. 

Amy makes me laugh, she reminds me of who I am and where I came from. She reminds me through her sweet spirit of all the possibilities for joy and pleasure, how to get outside of myself and love life. I admire how Amy always presses forwards and thrives and prospers. Amy loves so abundantly-to her darling children, family and huge network of friends. Amy is a sparkling ray of sunshine in so many people’s lives and, as much as she drives me nuts some times, I adore her! 

I will always love her like a sister. 

Happy Birthday Amy! 

I am so sad I am not there to celebrate with you! 

I can’t wait until we can be together soon.

I love you!  Jean 

Sent from my iPad

Oct 21 16

Hello

by Amy Cubbison

.hello,

 

I am not sure what happened to the first part of my entry but I have to get use to the new word press………summary……Kids are great. All doing well in school and on time…..I do not need to help anyone with their homework……thank God and heaven above..My big bday is coming so having a big party. Excited.

So boyfriend good………super jealous but working on it. Feeling healthy…..My other brother Peter, whom I use to do marketing for is hiring me again. I am able to work from home now and do marketing for both of my brothers. I may also start working for Chris at flydive.  I am going to get cards made up with a cute name on them. For the future I am seriously considering going to get my mfcc, or lvn…………I miss learning. I watched a lot of biographys and documentaries while I was in bed and that felt good to learn………I also did some vicadin shopping which is not good if you understand. I ordered a bunch of crap and forgot about it.  Thank God no more pain pills. They make me feel weird but I needed them at the time.

 

. For my bday I did get a little beauty subtle surgery. Except  I did get an infection which freaked the kids out and they did not like that it was elective. Now as I am healing and looking more normal ant not so swollen they forgive me. I am sure when I am ailing in bed , it reminds them of my car accident.

.

Aug 25 16

End of Summer

by Amy Cubbison

Here we are once again…………the end of summer. The feelings are bitter sweet……Bitter in that I need to go back to getting up early, driving the kids to three different schools, and being on a complete schedule. As you may or may not know I like a bit of schedule but not to much. I can say that we have had a very nice summer though. My reasons for working part time  have always been to be there with the kids for rides and to do fun things in hopes of building warm memories.  This summer we did not go on a big vacation but then again we have not for ages. We did go to the desert a few times. and stayed at nice hotels. Besides being super hot, it was so nice to be back to where we have gone so many times over the years and revisit all of the things we like about that destination.

We went to the beach quite a bit, the country club, park, movies, a lot of lunches, pokemaning, (if that is even a word), out for ice cream, the mall, barbeques, visiting friends, Lemonade stand and bake sales, Painting, making jewelry, and some camps. I was not able to have people over as I like because of promising Will that but that was fine. Saved money and cleaning. I was good about putting sunscreen on and staying in the shade…..As I get older I notice more and more residuals from the sun so I am trying to prevent more.

The exciting news (and sad) is none of my kids will be in elementary school anymore. Kaylee is approaching Middle school, Jac  high school, and Will senior year. Everyone is healthy and that is the most important thing. I am going to be working more doing different things and continuing to work on my memoir.  I do love the fall and where is in the summer I like to be out and about, in the fall I like to stay home and cook, cook, cook………………Here is to a happy fall and a good year with minimal drama and lots’ of love…..

Jul 11 16

Enjoying Summer

by Amy Cubbison

Wow……what a busy weekend. In the summer it is always hard for me to balance as I find it hard to turn down and invitation. Yesterday I had to because I could feel the exhaustion setting in.  It has been nice as long as I do not over due it. There is this message in my head saying “Summer is only 7 weeks now, so make it as fun as you can for the kids, and myself. :)”

I think I am succeeding.  Yesterday was my nephews seventh birthday. Marcellite had a pool party, and all of our west coast family was there. It was very pleasant.  This past week I attended another fashion show, which was fun hanging with my dear friend Michie.   Then another good friend Helen invited me and my crew (Boyfriend, kids and ex) to her work party on Mission Bay. Such fun. Beautiful Hilton resort, great food, drinks, and we paddle boarded and jet skied. We had another graduation party Saturday night. This time one of Raymond’s childhood friend. They were a nice family. They had a big smoker and made filet, chicken, and pork………Yum, You know me, it is all about the food, and the people.!!

Today I am looking forward to doing domestic things, hanging with my kids and going to bed early.  Talk to you soon.oxoxox

 

Jun 30 16

Summer days and Summer Nights

by Amy Cubbison

I know it has been summer for many for a few weeks but it has not been for us until last Friday…………..That is when Kaylee’s school ended. Summer is so short these days…………I want my kids to enjoy everyday of it as well, and myself with them………It is so nice to sleep in and not have to drive super early………..My work is not to many hours and flexible so that I can be with my kids most days and nights………….Went to movie with Will today “Me before you.”  Oh wow…………tear jerker…….I was crying so hard sort of like a little girl who hiccups and hyperventilates ……………..It is very touching…………Kaylee started a baking business Kaylee’s Cakes………….She got her first order and she is over the moon…….Jac is her manager…………..Plan on having a lot of relaxation this summer, with some fun and new experiences……….xo

Jun 14 16

Lost my list………

by Amy Cubbison

I will have to redo my list of what I love and what I dislike…….My computer crashed on me. It was fun. Try it. I had way more things I love, then things I dislike.