Tis the Season

by Amy Cubbison on December 17th, 2008

‘Tis the season to be selfish la la la la la, la la la la. Hopefully not, but I am still on my selfish track, picking at myself where I am selfish and admitting it. I guess that is a good thing because I am facing somethings and it is room for growth. I think when one goes to the extreme and it is harmful to oneself than that is not healthy. We are all a bit selfish. My sister made a comment to me about being selfish which struck a chord in me. I am realizing how lazy and selfish I can be in SOME areas in regards to my children. My new motto or an old one, that I am rehersing again, cuz it does not come easy, is “slow down, take the time to do it right.” For example, cutting up an apple and or peeling it. I would never do that for myself and I hate to do it for the kids. I beg them to eat it the way God intended them to-ha ha). So I am lazy in that regard when it comes to myself. Anyways enough analyzing.

I am trying to make myself do things that I don’t want to do and do not do everyday. I like to read to my kids but when I have to do it super slow and go over every word -that gets a bit boring for me. Thank God I am not a teacher. This is loving for them, just as much as hugging them, playing with them etc. I also as always try to include them in what I am doing so it is fun and accomplishing. I see my mother in myself in some respects where she did not find parenting thrilling but not a lot. I mean I look at my kids and watch them and my heart feels like it is going to blow up with love. I do enjoy them a lot but some things more than others.

I see Mom’s who do every little thing with their kids and I don’t know how they do it. I think when you have one child it is more interesting than doing everything with each of three kids. I am planning my date nights with each of the boys. They are excited. I feel like Kaylee and William get a lot of me, but Jac is such a Daddy’s boy, that we have grown apart. I have made special attention to him lately and reading with him. I can already see a difference. No sense in blaming myself for mistakes in the past but I don’t want to go to bed at the end of each day and not feel like I connected with my children each in some way.

I am feeling better. I still have a cold. Kaylee and I are still in our pj’s. I keep her home when it rains outside cuz I am a wimp and hate to go out in the rain. The past two days we layed in bed most of the day, ate chips, practiced letters and watched “Disney.” The more I stay home, the more I enjoy staying home. Last night “Mary Poppins,” was on. It was so nice to watch it. The boys think it is old fashioned but Kaylee loves those classic movies. I want to get Jac “Bend it LIke Beckham,” since he is such a avid soccer player. Yesterday Jac was talking to Kaylee while he got ready for Soccer. Their conversations are so fricken cute. He said to Kaylee, ‘You know what the number one reason is that I play soccer?” She shook her head no-he said, “Cuz it is a lot of FUN!” He said it just as if he heard it straight from his coaches mouth. Jac and kaylee still are so little and I want to freeze them.

Wills is ten going on forty five. He is like my elder. When Cami is over she whips the kids in control. She is going to stay with me for a few weeks and help out. The kids listen to her. Wills hides out and then peers around the corner to see if she is gone and comes up and harrasses me. So this is the third time I have filled up the advent house-only to have Kaylee and her friends eat each candy in each window. She is such a candyaholic. Today she has come to me with three different pieces of ABC Gum (already been chewed) she wants me to combine them and blow a big bubble. We also have a gingerbread cake in the oven and she has asked me 450 times if it is ready? Are we there yet??? Sound familiar.

My brother David was in town and my sister Judy. It was great having them here. My sister in laws graduation party was a lot of fun. My friend Cami gave Kaylee a pink pop up tent. She loves it and drags it all over the house. Yesterday Wills set it up and was selling Pokeman to Jac and Kaylee. They paid for it by doing what Wills say’s all night. The negotiation was super cute.

The other day I heard some harmful gossip about me. I was down in the dumps. You know me as thin skinned as they come. Then right afterwards I got news that my Mommy Megaphone was going to be on tv as “Unique gifts.” I was super excited. I want this next year to be great for LeaveMeB.com.

To end I would like to say a funny Amy story. This does not involve alcohol, which I am going to seriously cut back on in the next year. It is not attractive to get so buzzed at my age. I am working on my image for the business world. Anyways the other day I came home from yoga, only to notice that I had two different Ugg Boots on. I mean really different. I guess I took one of mine and one of the girls nexts to me’s. Uh oh-here I go again. I returned hers but where is mine? Is she an absent minded professor like moi???

Gotta nip the Disney channel for Kaylee – she has major attitude. In fact, I dreamt about it last night-along with my nightmare of getting struck my lightening. She keeps saying “I am serious Mom.” She is fricken four. Then she say’s, “That is seriously Evil.” OMG, what am I going to do with my little mini me. She wants to go grow up to be a fashion designer. I hope she does because that was and is my dream!

From my-life

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