Beautiful day

by Amy Cubbison on March 1st, 2009

“Today was a beautiful day………and the vision that i have been craving and looking for came true. I kept on picturing a beautiful scenery around me, with a nice breez, and mountains and a lake. I kept on contemplating where to find that. Lo and behold (what does that mean and where did it come from). We went to lake Hodges today. We packed a picnic and the kids took a walk, we fed the ducks and just relaxed, played and talked. Kaylee and I looked at Fashion magazines which was fun, but probably a no no since it stirs up my craving. My new thing is to find a texter/emailing/shopping anonymous and possibly but hopefully not all the above etc. Anyways I was just laying there and the kids kept on jumping on my back and laying on me. I felt so in the moment and so peaceful and so greatful and it was all FREE! We must get back in to family day on Sundays. I am creating a new list……..I just remembered part of my dream last night-Speaking of lists-I was teasing one of my friends at this time, I can’t remember who, for making anal lists of everything. I use to make a lot of lists and then lose them. I still do but often forget to look at them or bring them with me ie;grocery lists…………..Anyways I am so bad at blogging daily now. I am not sure what has expanded but I don’t have the time. I even thought about stopping but then I remembered the main reason why I do it and it is so save and capture memories for my children and us for when we are older…….The other day I had a vison of how much I will love when my kids have babies. I was upset thinking that I can’t nurse the baby. Who knows by then maybe I will be able to ……ha ha…….Speaking of who cares if Selma Hyack, nursed an orphan baby. I would do the same thing. I think that is what I should volunteer to do , hug and hold new babies and give them love-since I am all purple and filled with Godly love…..ha. I am going to bring that aura lady down for a much smaller party next month. I think people would love that. …………Today was a perfect day, family time, work out, relaxing morning, sleeping in and then family dinner that three out of five loved. Score!!! Oh and I am sure you are wondering about my fiesta last night. Well It was a success. A few things did not run as smooth as they should have or I wished but live and learn. Today I got tons of calls on how wonderful the party was. The wine tasting was a success, thanks to some of my wonderful and organized friends. I am to ADD for that. Tons of people showed, some of my favorites had last minute disasters and did not make it but then it made for a different crowd and a different party. I mean there were new friends, and a lot of long time friends, and maybe not many in between. I had my hair cut and she did my makeup and man was that a hit. The dress I got was a success. I felt hot except the dress was tight and I am pmsing-Still and i had a poochie…..I was going to where those spanks but I hate the way they feel. yuck!! Never. Hopefully never………EVEryone was comenting on how classy I looks cuz the dress was to my knees and my ta tas were not to high up in the sky…………Anyways to many were there for the jokes to be told. A few tried and there were a few laughs but it was like a group of rowdy uncontrollable kids. I even got out the “”Mommy MEgaphone.”” That did not even help……….I even stayed till elleven and was begging people to stay. How do you like them apples? Not since my bday party two years ago, have I been like that. I am a bit dissapointed in the fact that some did not call to explain why they did not show. That is just not manorly. My friends all were sneaking out the door cuz I always beg them not to leave…Ya think my abandonement issues come up even at a fun party…anyways, ofcourse I am thinking of what I am going to do next on a much smaller scale and keeping it cheap. Parties are always more than I think but this one was reasonable……… Yesterday we all went to Jac’s soccer game. It was a great game. Jac is so aggressive and aware. He scored a goal and they won. More importantly Jac was so happy we all were there. I will be there but not for the seven ocklock in the am games………… I have a list of cute things the kids have said written down upstairs that I will try to write in my blog tomorrow. There have been several……….Tomorrow I have a lot of work to do. I am going to lunch with one of my fav friend’s that I have not seen in a while Kate………I am vowing now to really limit drinking and going out and spending money for a while. Spring is coming, which is my favorite time of year besides fall………..I keep getting that feeling again, “”that this is the prime of our life, and enjoy it.”” The world is in a recession and we need to relish in the simple things and I don’t want my kids to grow up to fast. When NEil is out of town it makes some things easier but I realize how much he helps or it is easier when he is helping with them. At any rate I know I can get really crabby and complain about my kids but as I always say, The good outweigh the bad.”” …….William and I had a really good conversation today. He told me he always hold the door open for girls at school. I am grooming him to be a gentleman,and I am sure he will be. I told him there are two emotions fear and love and worry comes from fear so once he conquers that he will eminate and attract goodness and love…………..and that is what we all should strive for. ….Even though I have had a lot of sadness the past month, I feel that I have gotten stronger. I am working on the things that I need to -I got a book on saying the write thing, and preventing potential problems with common sense. and focusing……….but I also have come to the realization-I know I am a good person. I know I am a good friend! If someone does not like me or want what I have to offer, than that is just fine. I don’t have to have everyone like me, and I don’t want to get hurt in that multitude ever again and I don’t want to be a victim and taken advantage of! If feels really good. I am sure some of it is my new anti depressant but whatever helps me cope in this beautiful, complicated at time difficilt world!!….”

From my-life

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