Shame on me

by Amy Cubbison on March 29th, 2009

Shame on me……I have not been consistent again with my Diary.. I use to be so good, not sure what happened. My mother told me last night that I have to much of a social life and need to focus on making money more than spending it. I said to her,”I have to be social, it is air to my lungs just as air is to my lungs-if that makes any sense. I have been thinking about what I want to write an or noting funny events in my mind anyways.

Our topics of conversation with the kids have been one of two things, or three 1)Kaylees pending bday, type of party and cake next month (changes on a daily basis, as well as who is invited ie;boys, no boys) By the way it is good to know that I am invited today as well as her brothers. That also changes daily. 2) When Easter is coming and if the Easter bunny brings toys ( I dont’ know about their Easter bunny but mine, never brought toys, I think I even picked out my own basket at Acme. 3) How long their Spring break is and when is summer break. So as you can imagine I am repeating myself constantly.

We are going to the dessert this break, which we are all looking forward to. I am wanting to spend time in the sun and fill myself up with vitamin D, with sunscreen on ofcourse 50. I also want to swim and play tennis. I love the desert air. This summer we were suppose to go to rent a shorehome with our entire family in Ocean City but that does not look as if it will happen. I am bummed but happy that I don’t have to fly. I think my entire family is coming out for Christmas,which will be a treat especially for my father.
Did I mention that Kaylee wants to grow up to be fashion runway model??? HOw cute but She better take some super growing tall vitamins for that to happen. She is being more conscious of her diet at times in between her icecream, candy and cookie snacks. She also said she has pictures in her head and wants to be a fashion designer. She started drawing them and designed me a dress with puffy sleeves. I think that is so darn cute. I bet she will grow up to be a good one.
So on Friday I found out that it was GOld RUsh day, in the fourth grade. I did not go to the actual day but I did attend the singing ceremony. I felt insecure, not to mention that I was the only mother or father there not dressed up as an Amish woman or cowboy. Seriously. Thank God Wills did not seem to be bothered. He had to wear jeans and a button down shirt, both which he never wears so I never buy. We had to make up a funny concoction, one that I hope does not bother him in therapy when he is fifteen. The show was so cute. THe songs were really catchy. Kaylee was standing on her chair screaming Wills name. THe first half of the performance, his eyes were scanning the audience to make sure we were there. Kaylee said,’Wills is not in to it.” ONce he spotted us, that changed. He even had a line at the end, but flubbed it up due to his nerves.
Last night my mother gave me a sort of guilt trip about not seeing my father enough. First off I had something happen on Thursday where I was not able to meet him at the hospital. So it has been longer than normal. All I know is I don’t need guilt. I think about my father daily and dream about him every night. I am going to try to get on some sort of regular schedule and come by myself if I have to. Wils did not want to go yesterday so I told him how would he feel when he is older and his kids and grandkids did not want to visit. Anyways after our very pleasant visit, Wills said to me,”I see what you mean, Pop Pop’s eyes light up when he sees us and it really does mean a lot to him.’ Lessons learned on both ends!

From my-life

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