by Amy Cubbison on March 16th, 2009

Hi, My first day on my new high tech blog. I am sure my webgirl put me on this cuz it has punctuation and spelling corrections. Oh well, my mother will be happy. What happened to being real an imperfect and that being okay? All I can say is I am so happy that, that is a current theme in life-it saved my a*s!!…………..Today Kaylee has a bit of a fever so she stayed home. I don’t feel terrible but, I feel rundown as if I am fighting something off-so I have stayed in bed with Kaylee the entire day. I am funny as I always say, I like to be out and about and busy but when I get use to staying home, and laying low, It grows on me. I have done virtually nothing today-but a bath, ate soup, and blogged, oh and shopped for tees on line-all from my bed. So that gives you an indication of how productive my day has been. I should do somethings around the house-but I dont’ feel like it. So there. I am so happy I get out of cooking dinner or having to do anything around the house tonight. I will just put a kids movie on and have the kids snuggle and join me, perhaps play cards.Yea!! Too bad it is such a beautiful day. I always like being a lazy ass when it is overcast outside………….So update-Sunday was a great day. We managed to get to church again, and then I watched an Italian movie that was very provocative. I love seeing how other cultures are . I love Italians and everything about them. It was thought provoking. Now that got me hungry for stimulation other than the obvious ones-reading, learning and creating. My horoscope was about that today. It was about covering our true feelings or filling them with “bad stuff”. I know this all to well. It said when we take about the falsness we can fill it with knowledge and spiritual stimulation. Yesterday we also went on a bike ride. The air was so fresh……………Then we came home and all contributed to a yummy pot roast dinner. We all sat down and it was delightful. I realize everytime I do it how important it is. I usually am full from lunch out (he He) so I dont’ want to eat anymore. I need to sit down anyways. Speaking of food-I am not sure if I gained weight or it is in my head but I am having thoughts and images that are reminscent of teenage years-ya know, bad self esteem. Well I tried on all my old clothes from last summer, a couple were a tiny bit snug. I think I may have gained two pounds of belly flesh from a la vino. That does it, I am cutting back. When it effects the way I look, I take action. Ha ha. Kidding a little…………Last night we pulled out old videos. We watched the video of me giving birth to my first born William. It was so touching . It brought me right back to that moment-tears and all. Then we watched the next few months of Wills life. Since he was our first we filmed him all day for months. He was so cute, when he was not crying. True. He was gurgling and trying to talk and it made me melt as it did back then. Then we watched a video of Kaylee’s first bday. She was so little, compact and cute. Jac was short, chubby, spikey hair and raspy voice. I was so sentimental from these. I liked seeing how I am a good mother. It is always to see myself from outside or a third person, like in videos. I liked myself in them. I had sheer joy when my kids were that little. In between the huge stressors but I felt so needed being a MOm, and having a baby. Ofcourse today I am wanting a baby or a small cuddly, pet pig or something to love and that needs me. ……….That is all I have for you. Oh Kaylee and I were watching a boy and a girl kiss, and then she cried. Kaylee asked me  why she was crying. I said,”She is hurt by her boyfriend.” Kaylee said, all the while shaking her head from left to write like a teenager,”That is a perfect reason for me not to ever kiss or fall in love with boys, they will make me cry.” OMG>

From my-life

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