snoozed again

by Amy Cubbison on November 21st, 2009

Uh Oh, snoozed again. Will get back on track on writing in my blog. As well as continue to be the responsible, caretaking mom that sometimes does not come easy to me. These are the drudgery day to day monotinous things to do ie: brush teeth, get cereal. I discovered with my therapist that I need to make myself do them because I feel bad if I dont but I can be lazy about them. He said most people do. At any rate when I don’t step up to the plate with these things, I feel terrible. I find myself asking William to help with them since he is the oldest. Although I have to pay him…………..Speaking of William, he is still having a really hard time with all the change. I really am trying to acknowledge his feelings but he goes on and on about them. We need to go back to therapy. He is still talking to me with sheer disrespect but catching himself doing it.
The other day Kaylee was so upset about a playdate being cancelled. She has not had any in a while This starts to scare me because I don’t want her to be effected if any of the mother’s don’t like me. I am sure once my life settles down more than they will take a liking to me, as usually happens. I sort of like people to think I am a colorful person than see that I am authentic but a bit flashy. I love when people have their own soul and self.
Kaylee came up to me and said,”Mommy I am popular after all, I just heard my name Kaylee on tv. The other day she wore a striped sweater mini dress and looked so cute and def. like mini me. She is still screaming about her hair when I brush it. ugh. No wonder people have nannies. ha. I need to take all of the kids back to the dentist soon. I am going to wait for them to get braces utill they are older. I am dreading William dealing with the ppain of it. I remember it well. I also remember the joy of getting them taken off. Wish I wore my retainer more but hey lazy at certain things, I am learning. Sometimes think it is too much work, and I dont do things and then I realize I am hurting myself and others by being lazy and that is not what I want to do. I can tell you that everyday I do spend quality time with my kids and it fills me up to see the joy in them. I love my children so much and need to be more accountable. The woman at their office the other day, lost it with me. She said,”I am not your secretary, I am the school’s secretary. I think I better bring her some flowers and such. Last night Kaylee told me she knows what testicles are. That they are balls in your hair. I said,”HMmmm Sometimes they are.” LOL
We went to Jac’s soccer game Thursday night. He scored another goal and than ran down the field like a superstar with his hands out like the professionals do. It was so cute. He is the champ of his team. I was thinking he is going to have a swarm of girls. Cutie.
I had two meaningful dreams this week. Another one was about me taking care of my father. I was carrying him because Victor was not available and I did it. Then I buckled him in the couch and fed him. It was touching. I also remember him smiling. I also had a dream Molly, my seventeen year old Yorkie, came back to life. I was soooooo happy and hugging her so much. She was not doing the barking that she was doing in her old age. I truly miss her and my heart misses her more than I can imagine.
Today I am going to take Kaylee to see the Michael Jackson movie. She loves music and dancing. I heard it is touching. This afternoon we are going to Marina’s bday at JW Tumbles and then tonight is a launching of a new big San Diego Business Magazine party. You know how I love networking and parties. Gptta do a bagel run. stay tuned later………As Minor say’s. ,my childhood nanny. “Have a Blessed day!!” I love you Minor…………, Miss u too.

From my-life

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