Good afternoon

by Amy Cubbison on May 21st, 2013

I try not to text and drive or call and drive but I am NOT perfect. I sneak at the traffic lights. Today I glanced up at the light, shaming myself for looking down and almost everyone around me was doing the same thing in their car…..I had terrible nightmares last night. The kind that woke me up. I was upset about several things but mainly my father and his situation. I feel badly that I do not get to see him all of the time. With my new working career, I find myself very busy. It is good for me but I am having feelings of all the things I need to do, in my sleep. Yes I have not cut out all of my social things but some. I do feel much better about myself working. I am really in to working for Peter’s company. I do not even want to take a break these days as I have a lot of adrenaline running and I am excited to get commission. I also feel good as they are respecting my ideas….All of my children are doing well too. William and I are closer than ever. I am feeling a bit more financially secure which helps as well. I need to do a lot of things for my house but I am learning I have to wait for some things and do some things one at a time…….Last weekend I went to get my car washed. I was in my typical old sweats and no makeup from the gym. I then had the grand idea to go and walk to the what I thought was my new favorite store the 99 cents store. I stocked up on a lot of useless things and things my kids do not like, and shampoo that does not suds…..then I took all of my bags and walked them down in my grocery cart. Of course I saw someone I know and they honked and then I laughed out loud. I looked like a bag lady…..ha ha. Good thing I can laugh at myself……..Starting a small group/bible study with some close, co dependent friends. I am looking forward to it. I have a new fun friend Robyn that I really enjoy. She is a great girl and available. Sandra has been gone and I have really enjoyed it except for occasional moments of feeling alone. I am learning to recognize and target my fears and feelings when I have too much alone time, or not a schedule. I had another great thought today and that was…..I can do anything I set my mind to!!! As anyone can…….Every time I face my fears and realize how nice it is to be home alone, or sit and do nothing or just chill in front of the tv. it reminds me that I am lucky to have this time and the luxury of it.(spelling ?)……..I do not have a lot but this week Neil is in town so i do not have to do mom duty all day and night. Another thought i have had as of late which I have had before and it is a healthy one… do the right thing!!…..I want to do the right thing as much as I can for the rest of my life……..and so I shall try….with God’s help and dedication..
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