Why I love to write………

by Amy Cubbison on February 19th, 2019

Ever since I was a little girl I was a natural writer. Natural in the sense where it was easier and safer for me to express my feelings, and thoughts in words. Alright not without some bad grammar and spelling but meaningful. I always had a diary. I always made up stories and books. I use to send my Uncel Irvie my stories and he would boast about them. I wrote my mother notes my entire life. She called them hate mail but to me they were love mail just wanting more love and understanding. Then i wrote notes to friends all of the time. I wrote every guy I ever liked notes. Then came email and voila, I had an outlet. Boy did i take advantage of that. Some people say some things should not be in an email and or written. I agree but I also believe it can help you focus on what a person is telling you, and then you have time to think and respond. It goes both ways. I also agree sometimes an email written in anger should not be sent. Or after a few drinks. Hence the need for the breathalyzer on phones and lap tops. When my ex husband and I were long distance dating, I would send him two or three letters a day. This is before cell phones. Each time I went to the post office which was daily, I felt a sense of relief when my letters went off.
I have been told I share to much, to much on Facebook and to much in emails. I get that now and there is a boundary however I love to express myself in words. Some people have criticized me for that. I do not think they understand what it feels like to be a natural writer. I have these words and feelings inside of me that just need to come out or I will com-bust. I credit some of this to my English professor at college. She had us free write for twenty minutes each day. Write freely and without punctuation. It was called creative writing. Once I started doing that I felt free and clear. When I write down my feelings, thinks make more sense to me. After all that is what we are all trying to do in this world, is make sense of everything. Beginning with ourselves is the first place to star . I understand not that earlier Something happens to me when I get behind a key board.

I started a blog fourteen years ago before I knew what they were. I have a website where i sold funny, maternity shirts. I added a “Diary of Housewife,” on it. That eventually changed to “Diary of a single Mom, “but still the same. I posted so often and so much. To me not only was it a way, to express myself and deal but a way to preserve all my children’s memories. Funny things they said and did are saved forever. I always envision them reading them when I am old and tired. I am a sentimental person who loves memories. It is not that I do not enjoy now, or look for the future but I value memories tremendously. That is another reason we are all hear on this earth to build, create, enjoy and savor memories.

I wrote so much in my blog and it got popular that I got myself in a few pickles. For example if i went to a baby shower and i felt someone was not nice to me, I would write about it. Well it took a little while and a few bad experiences when I realized i cant write everything. I felt that I was not being real if i want not saying every thought and feeling i had. I learned to curtail that as well. My mother and friends would preface everything with “Do NOT PUT THIS IS YOUR BLOG.” Once my kids started saying that i got the message loud and clear.
Then came along Facebook, yet another venue for my unlimited words and thoughts. Yes i look back on over ten years of posts and some I cringe when I read. Especially the ones where I had a car accident and back surgery and was on Vicadin. The genius that I thought i had on prescriptions was not the genius people related to.

So here I am enrolled in Grad school to become a marriage, child, family counselor. I have to do tons of self reflection and writing. It is right up my alley. I have to say that when people tell me not to share so much, or talk to people instead of write to them, I do not agree. I am a writer through and through. It is in my soul regardless if I am a success at it or not. I have been writing a memoir for the past tour years. It is coming along slowly but surely. I would encourage anyone out there to start free writing daily twenty minutes. See where your words and thoughts take you. I bet you will end up in a better, calmer, clearer space.

From my-life

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